My good friend Gaius Derf called today to find out how the Imperial Capital was holding up under the onslaught from the Visigoths under warlord Pulisha. We got on the topic of one of his daughters who recently moved to a town in rural Western Pennsylvania. In the last week she hit a deer on the road coming home from work. Her father-in-law congratulated her for becoming a real Pennsylvanian.
On further evidence we find out however that this is far from the case. In fact the deer was only grazed and successfully ran off into the woods. This is a terrible precedent. If the deer learn that a car is not lethal, they're going to start more aggressive terrorist acts against the drivers. They're probably already setting up a trap for her. Not only that but by not delivering a fatal blow, she deprived the local clan of valuable protein for the winter.
Derf and I believe that the rules for becoming a "real Pennsylvanian" need to be more explicit. It is not sufficient to just "hit a deer". It must be a blow that is sufficient to to cause mortality in the deer and thereby act as deterrent to other deer, but not so violent as to destroy the edibility of the deer.
How many of you qualify as "real Pennsylvanians?"
4 comments:
Shouldn't an additional qualification be that they tie the carcass to the top of the car, take it home, and make venison jerkey with it?
You definitely have to take it with you if you hit a deer! Otherwise you're just a urban traveler in the woods.
My relatives are from PA and we have no deer victims unfortunately.
I totally agree though d-I. We can't have deer running around thinking they can survive a car collision. Deer are hazards which must be controlled, lest we suffer the coordinated attacks of these hoofed menaces!!
I agree with renee. that's a true PA-er!
I luckily don't fit the bill, unless by "hitting a deer" you also mean "hitting another vehicle and totalling your mother's car". Then I qualify.
Wow! Daughter Twin-A (as compared to Twin-L) now has the distinction of becoming the subject of a post in the great d-I blog !!! She has been having problems with internet connections lately so I read the post to her over the phone. She is appreciative of the honor!! She has no plans though, to hit another deer in such a fashion to do as Renee Michelle suggests!!!
Agent W
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