Squirrel Wars - Episode One, The Gray Tailed Menace

A gray, fuzzy tailed menace has thrown its terrifying shadow over the gentle confines of the Mrs. de-I garden. Where once lush plantlings of squash, eggplant and cucumber once flourished, now there are only thin green stalks. New flowers are gone the day they appear. Wife's garden has.....Squirrels.

Wife, being dedicated to the credo of her pioneer forefathers (and mothers), believes nature is to be controlled (garden does close order drill every morning). The onslaught of vegetation eating rodents is not to be tolerated. Hence we have seen a flurry of activity. Borrowing from the Norman conquerors of England, Wife has started a program of fortification.

Fortress Vegetable

The building program is currently being based upon a large outer wall with numerous individual turrets for the protection of plants outside the main compound and for extra protection within (like a keep).

Turrets

Finally, Wife has decided that a program of forced resettlement is in order and has put out a trap to secure the offending mammals. De-I is suppose to carry this trap with rodent when he hikes and safely release the animals many miles up the mountain away from the garden.

The Trap

All this may be for naught. According to O-I, his friend LeRoy, an accomplished outdoor type, has been fighting the gray furry menace for years without success. LeRoy's and O-I's opinion is that each time a new anti-squirrel program is put into place, the squirrels choose one of their number. That one is trained to become a super squirrel capable of beating the new restraints. Then once that squirrel is successful, it is bred to create the new more highly evolved generation.

I see pellet gun shooting lessons in Wife's future.