On Friday we were able to get my Dad home from the hospital. But it was a tough day all around. Any of you who have dealt with the medical system understand how difficult it can be to get all the pieces to work together so you can actually get out. In our case we had to have the 24 hour in home health aide hired and in place. That in turn required a doctor's certification to provide legal cover to the home healthcare company. And we needed to pass him on to hospice care - a separate organization. That required a doctor to take him under his care. However is primary care physician wasn't authorized to work at the hospital he was at plus he had been out of the office for a number of days.
Late in the morning, the pieces all finally came together and then (as I've seen a number of times before) the system seems to click into place and go into high gear because they ambulanced him home exactly when they said with the hospice evaluation taking place very shortly after he arrived.
But that's not what made it tough. What made it tough was earlier in the morning my Father asking me to stay longer. I was scheduled to come home Saturday with my other brother from Hawaii arriving Saturday morning. My Dad didn't feel that was enough time to do all we needed to to handle the contingencies going forward. But what made it tough was my emotional reaction because my Father has never made a request of me in his life. Even in a number of other highly stressful situations in recent years like Mother's death and the fire at his house, he never asked for help. In fact it was more like you had to shove assistance down his throat. So the mere act of asking was this pronouncement of his end in my eyes. And I was pretty much an emotional wreck for the rest of the day.
7 comments:
It's so hard to watch our parents do this type of role reversal. We spend most of our lives seeing them as our strong, unfailing protectors. We keep this view even well into adulthood. And then suddenly, they soften. They need our help. We realize they aren't invincible like we always thought they were.
Your father, you, and your family are in my prayers.
It is very hard to watch parents when they need help, because they've been the ones helping their children since they were born. It was really difficult for me to cope with my dad having a stroke and I cried nonstop the entire 3 hour drive home. Luckily he had a great recovery, but during the time he was in the hospital I got a glimpse of what it was like to take care of parents.. I pushed him to regain his speech and words which in turn gave him hope as he picked up more and more.
He didn't ask me to stay at the hospital and bring him books to practice with, but I can imagine if he had asked me the same way your dad did - I would have been a wreck. Thought and prayers are with you and your family. I hope the hospice program takes good care of him!
I agree with Terri & Jules about how hard it is to see parents in a situation similar to your dad's. When there is a plea for help directed right to you, it is heart wrenching! Hopefully, when your brother from Hawaii arrives, your dad will find some comfort. Our thoughts & prayers are with you!!
Hang in there & do the best to take care of your health!...."Coraggio"! Easier said than done!
AW & The Derf
The previous commenters have said it very well already. There is nothing easy about watching your parents go through something like that. It's difficult when you have to look out for them, rather the other way around. Prayers are with you guys.
Ugh...so tough to even read, much less experience. Good luck and our prayers go out to you and your family during this tough time.
What a difficult time. Our thoughts are with you and your dad, and I'm sending lots of love your way. I think of you often.
I haven't been checking your blog for a few days so was shocked by the news. We are thinking of you and your whole family. Keep us informed.
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