Monday, April 9, 2007

The Devil in Deviled Eggs

So I was in beautiful LA for Easter visiting the Pulisha clan. Details of this family event can be read in her Blog, Pu's Corner. Pu is ripeing up rather signficantly being in her 8th month of pregancy. For you non reproducers, months 8 and 9 are not the times that mom-to-be is bubbly and effervescent. Husband (Mr T de Buffalo in this case) tends to have the look of a soldier whose been ducking too many hand grenades.

Pu had asked before I arrived if I knew how to make deviled eggs. Deviled eggs? A no brainer. Can make-em with one hand tied behind my back.

I got there, got unpacked and after relaxing a bit got on to the task. First boil the eggs. Easy. Put the water in the pot with the eggs put them on the burner and off we go. Talked to Pu and T. We eat a little snack. I suddenly get this feeling that a lot of time has gone by and the water still isn't boiling. Make inquiry to Pu. "On it just takes a while in that pan Dad." Wait longer. Still not boiling. "How long has it been?" "Oh not that long, Dad." Wait more. I'm paying attention to the time now and it's been d*mn 30 minutes and the water still isn't boiling! I look on the stove and see a label by the burner, "Precision Simmer". Hmmmm, simmer isn't high heat. Make comment to daughter. "Oh sorry Dad, I didn't see what burner you had it on." Great so I have no idea if these eggs are cooked or their little rocks. I take them off the stove and start cooling them. On to the next phase.

I wanted to make a flavoring of onion, garlic, paprika and thyme. I decided to blend it into a paste then cook it so no oniony pieces would be in the eggs to put off young mouths. Cooking away, I taste the puree and it is the most bitter thing I've ever tasted. It was horrible. Arrrghh. Need revise. So I tossed the whole thing and started over. Diced more onions and garlic and sauteed them with the flavorings. Cook, cook, cook. Taste the onions. They're still hard! Cook, cook, cook. They're still hard but finally starting to taste a little like cooked onions. I put some chicken stock in and cook the whole thing down until the stock is just about gone. Onions are softer but not soft. Do the reduction thing again and finally everyting is soft enough.

Meanwhile, I'm peeling the eggs. But these are the eggs from Hell. Not a single one was easy and most were a b*tch with the shells clinging for dear life to every single friggin' egg. So half the eggs are missing significant parts of their whites. Then I start cutting the eggs in half. Are the yolks nicely in the center? No they're off to one side, so the opening to be filled is often missing a side.

Finally I got the whole thing done and assembled. Fortunately the result was tastee and was enjoyed by everyone but Pu who doesn't like eggs.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

LOL!! That was freaking hysterical. I just wait for Bee to bring them over at each gathering. I didn't realize it could be such an adventure!

Michael Podolny said...

Trust me. They're usually not!

alexis said...

luckily the tasting group doesn't get eggs usually, so there were no expectations to maintain.

stef said...

I'm not a fan of eggs by themselves either. But I'm glad your labours were appreciated!

Pulisha said...

Ha ha, I felt so bad when I realized what burner you had the pot on (we have a weird stove). Poor Dad, he comes for a relaxing day, and we put him to work! But, I have to say, I haven't seen Tim so blissfully happy since before I got preggo again, so your efforts were truely appreciated! :)