Attacking The Goths - The Empire Strikes Back!

Enough is enough. After prolonged occupations of our territory by Visigoths, Ostrogoths, Physicvegatriagoths, we at the center of the universe, the Imperial capital of de-I-holm, decided we needed to show who was boss, who was the apex predator, who had the airfare to burn. 

Rumor had it that one of the wandering Gothic trips, the Diplogoths, were amassing for who knows what depredations. So we decided to send out a punitive force to show them they couldn't just plop themselves down in front of our wine cellar and be served like nobility. 

We did decide to bring an offering of semi-good will just in case they decided to be peaceful. We were told that New Mexican Salsa was an acceptable present. But even here the barbarian nature of the tribe showed through. Our diplomats communicated with the Gothic Queen, legendary Pulisha. We asked how much would be a proper gift. We were told, "As much as you can carry." We asked if it was okay to bring our own clothes? The answer was (and this is an actual quotation), "Nothing but salsa. Only bring salsa. As much as you can carry. We asked if we could but our clothes on the carry-on luggage. "No. Fill it with salsa and check it. Then slather your body with salsa so you can get that through security. (That also is a quotation).

We could see that peaceful means would not be working, so we went back to Plan A and simply swooped in conquest mode. Surprise was complete and we have been enjoying the pleasures of the captured Diplogothian palace.

 

 de-I the Conqueror enjoying the fruits of the conquest

 

Captured Goths being put to work in the Uno mines. 

 Seriously, we are in Florida seeing Daughter #2 and family for the first time in a year. They ship out for China, their next post, at the end of September. This was the only time we could get to see them. They have to be in Florida because #2 has to renew her drivers license and US residency. Florida is close to the last place I would want to visit right now with the Covid breakout. We essentially have spent our time going from the small condo we are sleeping at (not enough room in the #2 inn lol) to their place and back not contacting anyone else in between. They have been doing their shopping mostly online with deliver. We head back on Wednesday.

 

 

Abundance

 We have had a very cool, wet summer. How crazy is that? The rest of the country is burning up both in terms of temperature and in actual terms. But here in the Land of Enchantment, we've had a very early monsoon, lots of rain and significantly lower temperatures than recent years. Who knows why but we aren't complaining.

One group is not complaining at all and that is my dozen New Mexico Chile plants. This was haul from last weekend. There will be as many this weekend. Trust me. I am not complaining

Return Of The Great Quiet

Things returned to normal last Wednesday. The #3 clan headed back home ending a full month of family visits. It was so good to see everyone for the first time in a year and a half. I mean really good. But it was also very good to get our home back and return to our very tranquil, very quiet lives. 

I think we forget just how quiet we actually live. It becomes so apparent when you have a couple of rambunctious young children with you for a couple of weeks. It also makes you realize how old you are really getting. And PLEASE don't bring up that stupid saying that "Age is just a number." The only people who say that are people who are not of age. Those who are aging are very conscious of the fact that they don't have the same facilities, energy or capabilities they had before.

It was really brought to my attention this trip because of my decision to not participate in the activities of our local amusement center, Hinkle Family Fun Center. In past years, I would participate in many of the activities like bumper boats, bumper cars, go cart racing, laser tag, etc. with great relish and fun. But it has become obvious that trying to do these things, particularly getting in and out, was just not healthy for my body. 

It is also nice to get back to our own patterns of living - sleeping in our own bed, using our own shower, going through each day with our own schedule. I don't think we appreciate how important these are to our overall well being. Don't get me wrong. We truly love being with our family. But, not for the first time and certainly not for the last, we wonder what it would be like if we were closer to our children and could see them more frequently, be more a part of the regular lives.

But we are a family that takes to the world, all of us. That also has its blessings. So you take the good with the bad.

Gothic Pincer Attack

 Despite our attempts to buy off the Goths, the invasion was initiated. Wife and I have been fighting for our stolid, tranquil, mostly boring lives. 

These Goths are nothing if not clever. They decided by coordinating their attack they would have the best opportunity to overwhelm de-I and Wife despite the forbidding defenses of the Tower. Hence we had the Visigoths (the Western Goths) using the tactic of wave attacks with first 1.2, then 1.1 and finally the formidable #1 herself joining in the attack. But coordinated with them was the attack of the Ostrogoths (Eastern Goths). They came in a mass attack all at once!

But we of the de-I hegemony are nothing if not resourceful. Though the Goths may come, there are many ways to appease them.  Like Bread and Games.

Games

Taking the Visigoths 1.2 & 1.1 to local attractions, Cliff's Amusement Park & Hinkle Family Fun Center

 

 

 

 Bread

Feeding the Visigoth Queen

 

And her Sister and her family of the Ostrogoths

 

 Goths are too high spirited?

Take them to the calming influence of the Botanical Garden

 

 Of course tricking them into labor is always a good tactic

Don't you want to learn West African cooking? Is always useful on the nomad path.

 Hmmm this seems more like work. #1 and #3 developing a fine hand with Ghanaian Palhava Sauce and Jollof Rice

Does this look like it has "stew like" consistency? I hope so because that is what my teacher in Ghana said it was supposed to be.

 I did break down and give the two Queens some good wine

 Nor should we leave the next generation out as Wife shows 3.1 & 3.2 the finer aspects of gardening.

 

 Nor are we beyond putting them into the kitchen

 

 

 

 

Gothic Revival

 The reopening of our country to travelers both within our borders and from outside has led to a massive return of Gothic invaders. There are the Visigoths (Western-California), Ostrogoths (Eastern-Netherlands), and the Errantesgoths (Wanders - currently from Ukraine & Iraq but heading to China). Long time readers will remember that there are so many Gothic tribes and so many members of them that we assign them alphanumeric designations to keep track of them.

Intelligence indicated that the Visigoths would be the first to attempting to storm the de-I Sandia Outfitters Shangria-la Resort. So we decided to use diplomacy. We demanded one of their young as a hostage!

 Arrival of the Visagoth hostage 1.2

We had the entire Albuquerque Sunport evacuated as a security precaution

It was necessary to send evidence via selfie back to the tribal elders in the East Bay area that the hostage had been received safely.

 

 Even though you have a hostage, one must treat him or her well. If not, you bring the wrath of the whole tribe upon you. We took 1.2 to the Sandia Peak Tramway. Much to our surprise our young hostage was quite into contemplation.

 

But after much contemplation comes realization

Followed by Triumph

A Gastronomic Interlude

1.2 is enamored of the 'burger' in all its many and varied forms. He has a special place in his burger loving heart for the variations here in Albuquerque, New Mexico. He loves many of the chains that are only found here in New Mexico. So I decided to organize a blind taste testing so he could determine which he liked best. We bought samples from Twisters, Bob's Burgers, and Blakes Lottaburger. Then I brought them home. Wife cut them up and put a sample of each on a plate with the samples numbered

We all had different ones we liked. But overall the concept was more exciting than the denouement because the burgers all got cold before we could eat them and a cold burger is just not a very good dish.

Building The Chateaufort Beignet

 It has become a tradition when beloved niece (and glutton for de-I Sandia Outfitters experience punishment) visits that we throw ourselves into a frenzy of dessert architectural construction. After having tackled the Croquembouche - a tower of cream puffs - we researched to find another classic example of French dessert architecture. After much looking we found what we wanted - The Chateaufort Beignet.

Beignet are basically donuts. The Chateaufort is the French word for a fortress castle. So this is essentially a castle made of donuts. Compared to the Croquembouche which has a fairly rigid shape expectation, the Chateaufort Beignet offers a great range of creative opportunities when one thinks of all the kinds of castles one could replicate. 

On our part, we try to make as many of the component parts as possible. That is part of the challenge. In this case, we were making two different kinds of donuts (cake donuts and risen filled donuts), actually donuts holes as a full sized donuts would make for a gigantic structure. Not ready for that. There was also a question of just how much fine work we could pull off. If one looks up a list of castles in France, it is overwhelming the number and the variety of design. As complete novices that was going to be too much So I went back to the most basic of early castle designs. And given the crudeness of our building materials, we decided that the 'ruins' look would be appropriate. 

Making the Donuts

Team Chateaufort Beignet

 

How much Crisco does it take to make 180 donut wholes 

A production line of donut holes ready for frying

RMG, Mistress of the Fry Station

Finished Donut Holes

Filling the Donuts

Assembling the Chateaufort

The Finished Product - The Glory That Is The Chateaufort Beignet!

de-I Sandia Outfitters Shangri-la Resort...Reopened!

 Oh the joy!

Oh the bliss!

After over a year of being shutdown, the glory, the splendor, the magnificence that has become the de-I Sandia Shangri-la Resort is open again to take in those worthy and (frankly) naive guests who either don't read reviews or think "They can't possibly be that evil. It must be an exaggeration". But who are we to look a gift mark in the mouth. 

On July 4 we were booked by a young woman from Washington, D.C. area, a fellow blogger, hell! A relative. One would think that she would at least know caution. Ah, but thank goodness not. 

Our First Guest in How Long, A Ms RMG from the D.C. area and a past de-I Sandia Outfitters client

We welcome her with a homemade New Mexican breakfast, eggs with homemade red and green chile sauce (the green chile literally harvested and roasted an hour before serving! How about that for 'farm to table'!)

Alas, but in the de-I Sandia Outfitter world things are never quite what they seem in the online advertising.

"I don't remember anything about THIS as a Resort activity."

"What? This will build character. You will thank me when you are older."

Stay tuned for one of the greatest culinary architecture projects recorded!