It has been a struggle to get my fledgling hiking guide business really going. Perhaps the continual misjudgments of distance, climb, heat, weather accompanied by near dire experiences has colored potential customers desire to book with us.
So you can imagine my surprise and glee when Gary from Nova Scotia contacted me for a guided tour of the La Luz trail. I don't even know how he found me. I got Gaius Derf to accompany us since he is a real affectionado of this trail.
We went really early so we would have Gary avoid a lot of the heat. The hike was great and we got to the lookout point (4.5 miles) at around 8:30 AM so we got to see the sun starting to shine on the mountains
The early morning sun brought out the red in the rock.
It was about this time that things started to go downhill. Gary pulls out this sunscreen with a floral scent. Never heard of anything like this before. It must be a Canadian thing. Anyway Gary is putting this stuff on and it is strong. I'm not thinking a whole lot about this until suddenly a hummingbird shows up. I wrote last week about my near death experience with the killer
hummingbird. I started to tell Gary that I didn't think that this floral sunscreen was such a good idea. He laughed at me but the hummingbird was being very persistent.
Then it nicked his ear and blood started to flow.
Before we knew it a dozen birds showed up all swarming Gary...then it seemed like a hundred. Gary was trying to swat them and fight them. Derf was ready to wade it when I stopped him.
"Derf don't go! We need to check if he signed is release document!"
"Release document?"
"Yes, my insurance company said that in any kind of unusual situation I had to make sure that I have a release form signed allowing us to act on his behalf."
So I flounder through my pack but I'm not finding anything.
"Gary, did you give us your release form"
"Arrrrggggg!"
"I think it was in your introduction pack."
"Agggggggggggggg!"
"On page 358?"
"Grrrrggggaaaaaahhhhgggggg!"
"Uh de-I, I think it might be bit too late"
Well who would have known? They were vamire killer hummingbirds! When they all flew off all there was was a shriveled up hunk of poor Gary. So what the heck were we going to do? Well the first theing to do was to get rid of the body. I mean losing a hiker to killer vampire hummingbirds is
not good for business. Fortunately we're over a big ole canyon in the wilderness so over the edge goes what's left of Gary.
But now the question arises, what are we going to tell the next of kin? I need your help. How should we spin this to ensure the continuation of de-I Sandia Outfitters? The winning entry gets a free weekend with hiking at de-I Towers.