The number of years Wife and I have been married as of today.
Sounds like a lot.
It is a lot! It's a half a century.
A century, a hundred years is a lot. So a half century certainly must be a least close to a lot.
When I reflect on all that has taken place in Wife and my lives over the last 50 years, I know it is a lot!
So why doesn't if feel like a lot?
I can go through all the component pieces that make up the 50. There's a lot! Highs. Lows. Ups. Downs. Passion. Anger. Frustration. Contentment. Good health. Bad health. Feeling comfortable. Feeling on edge. Are we going to make it. Yes, we're going to make it.
I have never over-romanticized marriage. A 'successful' marriage requires a LOT of work.
I can go over all the events. We lived here. We lived there. We had money. We had no money. The children were doing well. The children were in crisis. We were doing well. We were in crisis. We traveled. we built. We moved. We worked here. We worked there. We were fired. We were hired. Just thinking about it makes my head ache because it is A LOT.
So, as Wife and I celebrate having actually made it to 50, I ask again, why doesn't if feel like a lot?
The answer, I think, is the focus on living in the now and being sure your are fully focused on the now, this very moment, as being most important.
We are in California with the #1's to celebrate the occasion. We've done a number of things, one of which was a cocktail party so they could introduce us to many of their friends they've talked to us over the years but whom we've never met. Included in the guests were some contemporaries, age-wise, of Wife and I. And I noted in their conversation, how much was focused on looking backward. They were making comments about how life goes by in the blink of an eye, how you think you have all this time, but then you become older and it's all over...in the blink of an eye.
I don't feel that way. My life did not go by in the blink of an eye. It was a long, long journey filled with A LOT. But it doesn't feel like a lot because my focus is on now, fully on what is now, living in what is now, committing myself to what is now. And I have A LOT going on right now! So my life is full, and busy, and exciting, and scary, and fun, and frustrating, and all those other components that made up the previous 50 years.
50 represents a lot.
But what's important is NOW.
2 comments:
that is an interesting observation. I find my terrible memory helps me to stay in the present.
I already expressed my sentiments but want to big congratulate you guys again on the anniversary!!
Congrats! Congratulations both on a long marriage, which, as you said takes really work, and on cultivating such an incredible perspective while living.
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