My travel schedule bit back hard with my coming down with a mysterious ailment last Thursday that has left we with all sorts of weird symptoms and feeling like shit. I still had to do a day trip to Phoenix on Tuesday. But fate actually worked in my favor as I was supposed to visit patriarch, O-I, on Wednesday for four days in Connecticut. But he was without power as was most of the state so it made no sense to do so and we rescheduled to December.
That still left me with this illness where I'm in pain, am consistently tired, have a constant headache, constant body ache, and can't sleep (even though I'm tired). So I got on line and I have been researching the myriad of medical self-help/self-diagnosis websites. Using these tools I've logged many potential diseases and cross correlated the symptoms, eliminating hundreds until I came down with what I feel is certainly the definitive diagnosis.
I have contracted a combination of Mononucleosis, a Brain Tumor, and African Sleeping Sickness*.
I am now working with a compounding pharmacist to concoct a remedy (after releasing him from all liability)
*Not sure how I got this as it is only transmitted by the tse-tse fly which only lives in equatorial Africa. But you can't doubt what you find on the Internet. Right?
5 comments:
Getting over African Sleeping Sickness can be a bugger. Get well soon!
HAH! Reminds me of the week I thought I'd contracted botulism from a tin of green beans.
I suspect it's what you think - a lot going on, mind not able to shut off, body taking a hit for it. Get some rest! Take a day to chill and not think. Maybe get out of town a while?
If people on the internet said it was true, then it must be true!
Hope you get to feeling better soon!
Just think of all the money you saved by not scheduling a visit with the doctor. Could buy a couple bottles of good wine. Get well.
I don't like the sound of this. I hope there's a doctor appointment on your calendar this week.
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