I know that most of you are not history crazed like I am but surely you are aware of the role of barbarians running roughshod over such civilizations as the Romans and the Chinese. And you might or might not know that one of the favorite strategies of these civilizations was to pay tribute to the barbarians - basically bribing them so they wouldn't come and pillage your territory.
Mrs. de-I and I think of ourselves as pretty civilized folk who live in a very civilized fashion. Perhaps this is why we have been targeted by a particularly persistent tribe of Visigoths that live in the foothills to the East of us. Regularly they will swarm down the slopes and conduct a pincer movement whereby both our front and back entrances are blocked off and will proceed to ravage foodstuffs and drink before running off usually with younger members of the tribe howling terrifying war cries as they leave.
Taking a page from the Romans and Chinese, Wife and I went to the Visigoth stronghold and began to negotiate a tribute. We were told that Mrs. Goth Queen would come with me tomorrow into our territory and we would visit various storehouses where she would choose the appropriate tributes to be presented. Then on top of that our presence will be required at some all day Gothic celebration on Saturday where they will be throwing many pieces of meat on a fire and drinking strong drink.
I hope to sneak my cellphone in so I can document the bacchanalia in pictures.
4 comments:
I like the historical reference. Very funny.
History just keeps repeating itself...
Please don't tell me the Visigoths will also invade "the sticks"! Let me know if your tactics work, so I can do the same to defend myself.
I'm afraid Bernice that this particular tribe of Goths has a real hankering for pig flesh and are willing to go great distances to raid those that are roasting it. And unfortunately during one of their raids here they got the location of the sticks. I think we should plan on tribute.
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