Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Make Sure Your Loved Ones Have the Number of the US Consulate

When Pulisha and husband Tim de Buffalo moved to Albuquerque, I knew that the intensity of sports fan viewing activity was going to jump dramatically. However, like so many events in history, we tend to discount the fanatical thinking that they are a fringe element when in fact their dedication and commitment mean they are likely to take over complete control. And when the fanatics take control you can count on the personal freedoms going out the window and tyranny taking its place.

Thus you can imagine my shock and dismay when I found out recently that our little corner of the world is now within the borders of the Peoples Republic of Tim! In the PRT you quickly learn that there orthodox sports rooting dogma that must be followed at all costs. All teams from Buffalo - Good. All teams from Boston - Bad. There are more such but I will skip the detail.

Naturally I assumed that the NBA finals would be exempt from this as there are no Buffalo based teams in the NBA, at least not for around 30 years. I am not a fan of Boston (comes from my years growing up in a NY rooted household in Connecticut). And not being a big basketball fan and disliking the cult of personality that one often finds in basketball, I tend to root for teams that favor teamwork and unselfishness over the big ego superstar. Hence I wanted Boston with their three very had working and long-time unrewarded players, Paul Pierce, Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen.

But logic is not a requirement in a dictatorship. Seems the Supreme Uberfan Tim likes the LA Lakers after his short stint in LA. Soon I am getting barrages of propaganda text messages and emails from the PSSPRT (Party for the Sustenance and Support of the People's Republic of Tim). I'm being requested to attend mass party meetings to support SUT's rooting for LA.

When Boston won in a blowout (39 point advantage in the last game!), I get threatening emails warning me of what will happen this fall if I fail to toe the line as support the proper teams. You may be aware that the PRT has a reputation for extra-legal activities against opponents of the regime and has used bioweapons before. We are on the look out for small blond and red headed bio infected devices headed our way.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

...and you were worried that there was nothing left worth blogging about!! I look forward to the next installment of this saga...

stef said...

Didn't they already hit? Collateral damage anyway...

Lakeview Coffee Joe said...

Cheering for Buffalo, a fate worse than torture in my mind. If you see him with a caning pole, run for the hills.

Anonymous said...

LOL, I cannot believe you are talking smack on your blog...too funny.!
At any rate, if I'm understanding all of this correctly, you pretty much jinxed the NBA finals with your teamwork, Boston shenanigans…BOO!
joe- Haha, I think cheering for the Bears may be worse this season!

GO Bills!!!

alexis said...

ISn't one of the colors of Buffalo orange? I like orange....