The graphic above was done by AinA for my new business book. If you substitute the "de-I for "Gross" and "Organ Donation" for "Net", you have a good idea of how my mental and emotional condition has been over the almost two years that we were dealing with the decision and follow through on donating the kidney.Now that it is over, I'm finding that there is this hole in my psyche...the hole where all the thinking, planning, worry, anxiety, fear, blah, blah, blah was. You know that it is dominating your thinking but until it is over I don't think you realize just how much of your energy and emotions it fills up.
So I'm sitting with Mrs de-I having dinner tonight and I'm reflecting on this, telling her it's like this big open space and like there should be something filling it, some new anxiety or obsession. Or, I tell her, I suppose I could just learn to live without all that.
She just smiles and nods.
6 comments:
That really is interesting actually. What fills that thought void after an event is completed?? Eventually it fills up with mundane work-a-day-world events I suppose, but it's not immediate.
ditto on what joe says - it takes time to adjust, unfortunately. I think you will find it happens naturally - maybe you will start some big project deliberately to fill the void. But you may find over time it loses momentum as normalacy returns.
You can fill the empty hole by being obsessed with Buffalo sports teams?? Go Trent Edwards!!
How about finding me a life path?
Actually it's remarkable that you encapsulated the whole worry anxiety thing and now are rid of it. There must be a deep sense of relief overall. Some life experiences don't behave this way...they find shelter in the subconscious and gnaw away at the psyche. What's the secret to exorcizing them?
Wow, you did go through a very big event in your life. You are quite different, both physically and mentally. It will be interesting to come back to these posts a year from now and see what you think of all this.
Thank you very much for sharing this very big thing with the world.
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