Reflections on Old Love

I'm not talking about an old love - like someone you use to be in love with. I'm talking about the love relationship that develops over decades and decades of being with someone. Of having gone through all the crises, and traumas, and challenges with the resulting deep relationship.

All the long trips back and forth to Connecticut and the emotions invoked have brought on a lot of reflection. On one recent flight, it seemed that all the on board video entertainment related to young love, the move, the TV reruns. I thought back to those days.

Certainly when you are young (or even not young) and have yet to experience love or have not have a love relationship in your life, there is that lack. And when you find it, there's all the excitement, and drama that goes along with it. Our culture just wallows in that experience. It dominates. It is followed in frequency by the breakup - when the love relationship sours because the parties just couldn't make it work - because no matter how passionate initial love is there is this long hard process of transforming that into a sustainable, mutually nurturing relationship.

If you are fortunate enough to have gotten over that challenge, what you end up with is old love. Love that is deep. Love that you can count on. Love the supports you and that you provide support for. Love that is assured and unconditional. It's a different animal. You don't need the extremes of passion because you substitute it for the foundation of depth. You appreciate every day, every moment you have it because it took so much to get.

We need more movies about that.