The Ride to Elmhurst

(With apologies to Alfred Lord Tennyson)

Half a car length, half a car length,
Half a car length onward,
All in the morass of Traffic
Rode the two.
"Forward, Podolnyites!
"Get to Elmhurst!" he said:
Into the Traffic
Rode the two.

"Forward, Podolnyites!"
Was there a man dismay'd?
Not tho' the consultant knew
Someone had blunder'd:
Their's not to make reply,
Their's not to reason why,
Their's but to wait in traffic:
Into the morass of Traffic
Rode the two.

Cars to right of them,
Cars to left of them,
Buses in front of them
Crep’t and inch’d;
Idling by inches,
Boldly they waited,
Into the jaws of Motionlessness,
Into the mouth of Statsis
Rode the two.

Up Milwaukee, over to Western,
Let’s try Lawrence or maybe Lincoln,
How about Touhy, oh pooey,
Surely success on Dempster
No we’re in the dumpster:
Plunged in the traffic hardly moving
Right turn the traffic broke;
Commuter and student
Reel'd from the driving stroke
Shatter'd and sunder'd.
Then they rode on, but not on time
Not the two .

Cars to right of them,
Cars to left of them,
Buses in front of them
Crep’t and inch’d;
Idling by inches
While the appointment fumed and cell calls were traded,
They that had driven so well
Came thro' the jaws of Motionlessness
Back from the mouth of Stasis,
All 15 minutes that was left,
Left of an hour and a half.

When can their glory fade?
O the wild ride they made!
All the world wondered.
Why they didn’t leave enough time,
Honor the Podolnyites,
Noble two.