There is so much happening. All good. The Theodora Project, of course. But, we are back in our travel mode again, getting ready for a big trip in just a couple of weeks with us contemplating a number of other travels. And I am consulting again. I have four new clients, the first new work I've taken on since 2019. During the dark days of 2020, I thought that part of my life was gone for good. But as I have needed more income to support our travel, behold, it has come back.
I have had a few people tell me in recent months that I had stopped being retired. I can't help the small minds of people who only can contemplate a binary world were you either are working (bad) or are retired (good). I find the whole play much more subtle. My state of mind is nothing like when I was 'working for a living'. Then, there was so much pressure to make money. I had to in order to hit our goal of not having to work.
Now if I work, it is because I want to. If I want to do Theodora, it is because I want to. If I put time into Rotary Club to End Human Trafficking, it is because I want to. I only do what I want to. My state of mind is one of happiness and peace. It doesn't make any difference if it looks to others that "I am working." I know I have transitioned and am living 'the dream'.
Another thread weaves through this awareness, the awareness of age. It comes in different forms. Part of me has a hard time accepting I have as much energy as I do. Not unlimited. I definitely have limits that I didn't 20 years ago. But within those limits, I am fully engaged.
I find myself listening more and more to the news of deaths. Some are older, younger, or about the same. I have no illusions. I know my time is coming. It has to. I wonder when that one event will take place that puts me on the downward spiral. It has to. It is not a matter of if. It is a matter of when. I see peers who struggle to make their way around because of ailments. That will be me. It has to. It is the way it is.
And despite these thoughts, I revel in the joy of working, of promoting a cause. I lap up the pleasure of seeing young lives transformed. I get excited anticipating all the travel adventures to come. I have the deep contentment of knowing I have helped my clients through difficult periods.
It is an enigma. But it is my life.
2 comments:
a lovely self-reflection! Age is redefined it seems with each generation.
I have probably mentioned this before, but on one of my financial forums we talk about the retirement police, who go around telling people that they can't really be retired if they are working. But I agree with you, working to enhance your life or when you have choices feels very, very different.
In my opinion, recognizing that we,ourselves, will die is one of the hardest things we do.
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