Granddaughter Y showed me her letter to Santa Claus and I asked her to put a post-script in it for stuff I wanted. She said no way. If wanted to write Santa I needed to do so myself. Therefore...
Dear Santa:
I have been a very good guy this year. I sleep on the sofa when Wife tells me I'm snoring. I traveled to Chicago to cook Thanksgiving dinner for Motherrocker. I performed baby bed duties for newborn A and even changed one diaper. I regularly give my friends lots of alcohol to drink.
I would like 4 ounces of real Russian mallasol beluga caviar, one each large white and black truffle, a real French goose fois gras and a bottle of vintage champagne at least 20 years old.
I know this may be a bit on the extravagant side but I've never written before so I assume my account with accrued interest is pretty substantial.
Respectfully,
de-I
8 comments:
You sure know what to ask for!
Get that stocking hung... maybe an extra large one...
What the hec...ask for the best!!!
If I were taking bets, I'd say you're definitely on the naughty list. Lump of coal for you mister!!
Better set out lots of milk and cookies for that one!
Is there a number you can call to check your Santa rewards points? Like you can do with your credit cards or airline miles? That list sounds like it would cost a lot of points, but if this is the first time you are cashing any in, you may just have enough.
Considering you were born Jewish, are you even in Santa's records?
The diaper alone should be worth a substantial amount.
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