But How? How Are You Going To Make Change Happen?

I attended a virtual meeting of an organization I belong to whose mission is fighting human trafficking. This month’s meeting featured a speaker. This woman has spent her life finding and bringing back people who have been trafficked, first as a law enforcement officer, and then as a private investigator. Her presentation was informative and powerful…very powerful. She had those attending totally engaged.

At the end of her talk, she actually made a call to action. She cried out against all the ‘silos’, the myriad of organizations doing similar things and not talking or collaborating. She said if there was one thing we could do to fight the entrenched interests that support and are enriched off of human trafficking, it would be for those working against it to break down the organizational silos and build collaboration.

I was impressed. This made so much sense. I was glad she had put something pragmatic in her talk that could be used to actually do something. But, sadly, I have to say I was at the same time deeply cynical. I watched the comments in the chat…effusive words of praise, appreciation for what she did, acknowledgment of the rightness. What I didn’t see was anyone saying anything about how we, as an organization, should start working to break down the silos between ourselves and other organizations.

I will make you a small wager. I don’t think I will see it. Because I’ve seen this over and over since I dove into the social impact space five years ago. The vast majority of people who claim to want to create change aren’t actually willing to do the work necessary to make change happen. If there is one thing I have learned from my five years working on the Theodora Africa Project, it is making meaningful change is incredibly hard work. It requires big-time investment, patience, humility, and an understanding that the reward may be a long time coming. 

But that’s not what the majority want. They want to feel good. They want to FEEL like they are helping. And as long as they FEEL they are doing good, it doesn’t make any difference whether real change happens or not. So forgive me if I don’t jump on the bandwagon of backslapping when we hear the motivational speaker. Because all I want to know is How? How are you actually going to do the hard work to create change?

Why Do I LIke Travel Planning?

#3 asked me this question last week. She was in the midst of doing a bunch of travel planning and she said, "I wish I liked doing this as much as you do. Why do you like it?" I couldn't give her an answer. So I have been contemplating it.

I think a large part of it is related to enjoying problem-solving and plan building. That's pretty much what I did and do for my clients. They have trouble figuring things out. I help the clarify priorities, look at resources and restrictions, come up with action plans, and helping them to implement things. 

Actually as I really think about it, I'm pretty sure that's the reason. I remember doing an analysis of this way back when I was in the first phases of my post-work transitioning. It was one reason that travel and work for me never seemed to be working at odds because I liked the processes with each. 

Plus the planning done for travel has all kinds of mini-rewards that you don't get from doing consulting work. All the times you find something cool to do or stay. Getting a good deal on something. Finding a better (more time efficient, less costly, more comfortable) means of accomplishing what you want. 

I've actually said to people, I almost enjoy the planning more than the actual travel! 😂

The Steady State of Option Evaluation MUST NOT End!

Call it a change of perspective.

    Call it a redefinition.

        Call it giving things a different spin.

We were having our weekly video call with daughter #3. Once again we were going over the changes in plans that have taken place just in the week since we last talked. She jokingly said we were like a soap opera, a telenovela. Each week there was a new twist or turn in our plans.

It was lightening striking. OF COURSE!

We ARE a telenovela. There CAN NOT be a final resolution. The MUST ALWAYS be a new twist, a new challenge, a new crisis, a new revelation to cause the story to continue. If everything gets resolved, the story is over! We don't want that. They only stop the story when the telenovela is canceled. We don't want to be CANCELED!

Now, I can accept things. And it is with a great sense of peace and tranquility that I visualize myself in the role of the older, suave Latin character as we continue down the the telenovela of our life. 

Eggs On Rice

May I sing an ode to eggs on rice?

Yes, I may.

The rice must be flavored. Fried rice is wonderful. Jollof rice from West Africa? Yummy. All you have is plain left over rice? Add some soy sauce, fish sauce, and chile oil and it will be a fine base. Have some New Mexico Red Chile? Mix that up with the rice.

Put a bed of rice on your plate. Heat it up in the microwave.

Then, fry some eggs. Put a lot of oil in the fry pan. I like olive oil, vegetable oil, ghee, oils that have a high smoking point so you can get them good and hot. You are not quite deep frying your eggs which gets parts of the egg crispy. When you fry the eggs, they must be sunny side up and even slightly under cooked. Be sure to salt and pepper them liberally.

Put your eggs on the bed of warm rice. Pour the excess oil in the pan over the eggs (it finishes cooking the whites). Cut the eggs over the rice into bite size pieces so the runny yolk and white mix with the rice making an unctuous combination. 

I like eating this Thai style with a spoon and fork, my spoon doing most of the work. A nice, dark rich cup of coffee to accompany it, and maybe some melon, cherries, or berries. 

I fell into this meal a couple of years ago. It has become one of my culinary joys.

Can The Steady State Of Option Evaluation Finally End?

It was only 10-months ago that I announced on this blog that finally, FINALLY, Wife and I had made a decision on the trajectory of our life's final stages after years of waffling over this approach and that approach (mostly associated with bailing on living in the United States and moving out-of-country). We'd decided we'd stay in the house, travel as we have been, and end our days here. We even made a decision to do some major work on the house to make it really the way we wanted it as long as we were staying. 

That decision was solid until we were soaking in the boardroom (pool) in Krabi, Thailand day-after-day, after our fried chicken breakfasts. As we got mellower and mellower, we started to talk. 

"Hun, are you missing the house?"

"Not really."

"I'm so tired of all it takes to keep it up."

"Could you see us doing this long-term?"

"You mean just give up everything?"

"Yah. Sell it all off. Completely unmoor." 

 At the same time, we got the final quote for our remodel which was crazy high and totally not doable. We started researching (yet again) what it would take to pull this off.

And DAMN, we ran into all of the problems we'd hit before. Visa issues and how long one could stay in various places. What to do about health insurance? How were you going to handle the 'End'?

Then we did our Ghana stint and came home totally exhausted. We were bummed at how much work the yard needed. But God, we were glad for the body healing resulting from our own beds, chairs, and other aspects of our house. We've done some research into some senior living options that would allow us to give up the house but stay here in Albuquerque. They are not particularly attractive.

Our total enjoyment of SE Asia and knowing the #2's will be based there for three years has opened a different travel schedule that has the potential to give us more of what we enjoy of the house without some of the negatives our current travel schedule has created. 

We're pretty sure we've finally leached the crazy, going to multiple countries and cities within countries travel routine (I hope 🙏) and will be focusing on longer stays in one place.

Given our propensity for flip flopping, I will hold off from any 'for sure' pronouncements.

Around The World In 72 Days - Post Trip Reflections

Because travel is such an essential part of who I am, and each trip we take seems to bring different types of experiences and learning, I close each trip with reflections (navel-gazing as #3 calls it). This trip, in particular, cries out for such.

HOW THE TRIP CAME ABOUT

This was a throwback trip. It recalled the many trips we were making pre-pandemic where we covered many countries, and many cities in one trip. We’ve been getting away from these. Our age has made them too difficult on our bodies and our psyches, even if we still have this desire to go and see more. So why? Why did we take on such massive travel undertaking?

The genesis was three deep deferred desires and one dream. The first was wanting to do some travel with two of our grandchildren, 2.2 and 2.3. We had a trip with them planned in 2020 when the #2's were living in Ukraine. That got blown apart by Covid. The second was a desire by Wife to see what the heck was going on in Ghana. We had packaged that in the same 2020 trip so it too was blown apart by the pandemic. Third, was a desire to visit China while #2 and family were stationed there. China's lengthy Covid restrictions almost killed that as well.

The dream? That was a desire to circumnavigate the Earth in a single trip. Why? I don't know. Just to say I did it. 

Thus we started 2023 when China indicated it was starting to open up to the rest of the world. We focused our initial attention on getting the grandchildren trip organized. One was going to graduate and go to college after which getting the two of them together on a trip would become very difficult. That was the starting point, Taiwan, a place they could get to from their residence in Shanghai and we could get to. 

The next piece of the puzzle was China. Until China fully opened up there was some risk there, but it all fell into place as we got closer and closer.

Ghana was next. I didn't see anyway of getting Wife there soon. If we did an Asian trip and came home, then did a separate Ghana trip, the time and expense would have been magnified. This is when I saw I was going to be able to go around the world. 

I recognized that both China and Ghana were going to be very intense visits. That led to the stop in Thailand, a very conscious planned R&R. The stop in Istanbul was the same (though we undercut it with our own manic need to get out and do things).

Thus the 10 week, around the world trip was designed. 

Let's look at the highlights and then go on to the analysis.

EARTHQUAKE

We loved our time with 2.2 and 2.3. We've had precious little of it with them because they've always been so far away from us. But I think we will now have the shared experience of going through a major earthquake that we can look back at for the rest of our life. 

CHINA IS SO...CHINA! AND THE POO LEE SHAH TRAVEL EXPERIENCE

We'd heard so much about China not looking favorably on the U.S., the need to have all China specific apps, China not being that open to foreign tourism yet after the long isolation. But, with the help of our family, we found ourselves acclimating a rapid pace. 

China is so BIG! It is hard to relate. And it is noisy, and bustling, and active. There is so much. It is modern. And it continues to change at a rapid pace. We visited first in 2016 and we noted in the 8 years that have passed a significant change in behavior. Like people actually waiting in lines instead of pushing ahead in masses. We encountered no hostility of any sort. Actually, we felt like hardly anyone paid any attention to us though we clearly stood out. 

Of course, any travel involving Poo Lee Shah Travel is going to be intense. I joke about this but it's true. #2, I know you don't read these blog posts but you should not feel guilty. The reality of your family and career responsibilities mixed with the craziness of State Department life are what they are. And despite, #2 having deal with the assignment to handle the Secretary of State's visit to Shanghai, we still ended up doing so incredibly much over the three weeks we were there. 

BEST GASTRONOMIC EXPERIENCE EVER!

I have had some memorable meals in my life. I've visited some great places in the world for food. But never, NEVER have I had a three-week period of non-stop gastronomic experiences as this trip. Hats off and kudos to 2B who was the major impresario and kept bringing experience after experience. Even the takeaway dinners at their house where extravagant buffets. But even on our own with our guide in Xi'an we had great meals. Then there was the over the top weekend as 'VIPs' in Liyang. Yes, truly a once in a lifetime happening.

IS SOUTHEAST ASIA THE OTHER PART OF OUR LONG-TERM PLAN

I am going to give myself a big pat on the back for our interlude in Krabi Thailand. Not that Krabi is such a great place to visit. It is not being way too touristy for us. But I had the right house, with the right amenities, in the right location to give us exactly what we needed...the ability to chill and enjoy a slowed down lifestyle. We loved being able to walk to what we needed and imbibe the local part of town outside of the tourist mainstream. 

Wife and I did a lot of contemplating in our little pool there. As we realize the need to slow down, having these elements as part of our yearly cycle seems very attractive.

ISTANBUL - CONFIRMING OUR BASIC INSANITY

We were supposed to rest. Instead we had an epic day running around via taxi, ferry, funicular and walking through this incredible city, punctuated by an incredibly memorable breakfast and a ton of pictures. 

GHANA - THE TRIAL OF A LIFETIME

I was very honest in my posts about all our trials in Ghana. I knew it was going to be difficult. I've experienced the issues with traveling and things not working right during my work trips. But I'd underestimated how much I've structured my business life to mitigate these issues when I come to Ghana for Theodora. Running around as did, simply amplified all of them. With both of us (but Wife in particular) being beat up from the prior 7 weeks of travel, it ground us down. We can say we did it, check it off the list and move on. 

COMING HOME - NOT THE BLISS I EXPECTED

If anything was going to cure my travel lust, I would have assumed the three weeks of travail in Ghana was going to do it. But, I can honestly say that while there was incredible physical relief (as in taking wear and tear off the body), and a real enjoyment of having all the little things of life the way you want it, it was offset by the immediate burden of having to take care of the house.

ANALYSIS

Have we learned our lesson? Are we going to slow down?

We say we have. We are building our plans for the future based on this. But we also have this insatiable drive to see and do new things. We've told ourselves we can runaround like crazy people for a week maybe. But then we need a calm base from which to work from. We'll see how this goes in the Fall when we are returning to El Campello Spain for a month.

Are we finally going to cut the umbilical and become citizens of the world?

Ultimately, no matter how many ways we try to chose this option, too many obstacles come up. And there is the fact that it would take away a primary joy of Wife, her community and friends which she has worked incredibly hard to build. So that's not going to happen. I am going to write a separate post on this next phase transition.

But I still need to travel

LOL. We haven't even been back for a week and I am busy at work, planning our next trip!

How does our vacation experience in Ghana influence my feelings about Theodora?

Oddly enough, all the frustrations we had has made me even more determined and motivated. I understand in an even more visceral way, the obstacles the Theodora women face in transforming their lives. Assumptions we (my board and I) made years ago on the need to create a holistic environment to promote the change we seek, have only been reinforced. It is still my mission.

 That closes the book on Around the World in 72 Days. Until our next travel adventure.

 

Around The World In 72 Days - The Close, Home

We didn't quite make it 72 days. 

We got home on Monday afternoon. We canceled the last part of our stay, another beach resort based on not wanting to take another chance on a facility I had only researched online. 

The flight home was uneventful. But whatever Ghanaian travel god subsidiary of MUPGT was stalking us while there had one last trick up their sleeve.

I go online to order an Uber. It won't take the credit card that is attached to the account. The message is "your balance is too low". What? It's a credit card, not a debit card. I book again with with the alternate card on tohe account. It says the bank has refused the charge. What? I'm going to have to enter a new credit card. It succeeds but in the mean time the price went up 110%! I'm too tired to fight this and a cab would be just as much.

Getting into the Uber, it's hot. Wife asks the driver to turn on the a/c. He claims he doesn't understand English. Then he tells us it's broken. He drives home at under the speed limit with his car shaking like there is a problem with the front end. Getting home, he refuses to get out and help us with his bags. I retaliate and don't shut his trunk as we roll the bags up to the house.

But, we get in the door, our house sitter put on the coolers for us. We're home. The saga is over. 

Around The World In 72 Days - International Incident or At Least I'm Not In A Ghanaian Jail

Let's be clear.

Africa World Airways (AWA), the home airline of Ghana, is, bar none, the WORST AIRLINE I HAVE EVER FLOWN! Period. There isn't even a close second. (Well let's not forget the horrible JetStar Asia experience. Or the Spring Airlines in China either). But for pure malicious incompetency, lack of caring, combined with a rigidity designed to fleece their customers of as much as they can get from them, I am not sure any other airline in my half a century of flying can meet this standard.

Let's just list what we experienced this trip. We had three scheduled trips encompassing four flights over a three week period.

First - Accra to Takoradi

 

This was our last day in Accra when we had the torrential downpour and it took over an hour to get to the airport that was less than 5 miles away. Do you think these kind of things might happen often in a tropical climate like Ghana? We got to the check-in counter two minutes past its cutoff. They told us we had to rebook on a later flight even though at that point the airline knew the flight we were on was running hours behind schedule due to the weather. This little rigidity of policy extracted double the cost of the original ticket from us, and had us waiting five hours to finally depart.

 

Second - Takoradi to Accra connecting to Kumasi

 

We check in Takoradi, no one knows how to do a connection. Evidently this must be something of a rarity. We are hit up with an overweight baggage fee. We're told when we get to Accra, we cannot just change planes. We have to exit security, go to the ticket counter and get some kind of form. (BTW there is no way at the Accra domestic terminal to go directly from arrivals to departures. You have to walk out, around and up a long traffic ramp to get back to departures. 

 

Getting to the ticket counter, we are told the flight to Kumasi is canceled. We have to go to a different office (where two people are dealing with everyone off this flight) to rebook. We've done this. Our earliest option is late afternoon the next day. Meaning we loose one of our two days in Kumasi. Working with my team we decide getting a driver who can go the five (hellish) hours of Ghana roads is the best, and safest option. Once again we arrive late and exhausted, having spent four times the amount we would have paid. 

 

Third - Kumasi to Accra

 

We'd debated. Do we chance it again with AWA? Or do we just bag it and get a car? We didn't want the added expense or having to deal with Ghana roads again so we took our chances with AWA. Our flight turned out to be an hour and half late. But it was at the check-in counter that our incident took place

 

The Incident

We're checking in  (imagine one line, a small dingy building, no modern equipment one associates with an air terminal). I get to the agent. They weigh our bags and tell us we need to pay an overage fee (this will involve getting out of line, going to another line, paying, getting back in line, so you can actually check in.). I tell the agent, 

 

"Comp us. Your airline's errors have cost me over $500 over the last two weeks. You owe us."

 

"I'm sorry sir. I can't do that."

 

"Yes, you can. Just print out the baggage tags, put them on the bags and be done with it."

 

"No I can't. Our system won't allow it. You will have to talk to our manager." She points to a door with a darkened glass wall."

 

Now I am starting to lose it. The weeks of dealing with various issues in Ghana all coming to a head. Normally when I fall into my notorious temper, Wife, will pull me to one side and get me calmed down. Not today. She is pissed too. And it is not easy to get Wife pissed.

 

I go back and forth with the agent. I keep insisting she must comp us and print out our baggage tags, she insisting she can't make the system do it without paying the extra fee. Finally, I take out a 100 Cedi note (the cost is 70 Cedi) and throw it down on her station. (BTW, the cost was about $5, but it was the principle of it all.)

 

"Here take it. Print out our baggage tags."

 

"No you have to go over to the payment line, make the payment, and come back."

 

Now I say loudly so everyone in the line can hear it (and the line is getting quite long at this point), "I am not going anywhere. No one else is going to check into this flight until you have someone get the payment done for me."

 

And that's exactly what I do. I just stand there. Finally, the agent gets someone else to take the payment over. She asks me to leave the line. I refuse. I tell her I will stand by the side watching her until I'm sure my baggage tags get printed out and on my bags. This takes about 15-20 minutes, I there glaring the whole time. 

 

Almost two hours later when we are getting ready to finally board our plane for the stupid 40 minute flight to Accra, I'm telling Gloria,

 

"Listen, if they grab me and take me into custody. Just get on the plane. Call our people in Accra when you get there. Get on the plane Sunday and get back to the U.S."

 

In the event, we are in Accra at our hotel. And thus far, I am a free man.