In my last transition post a few weeks ago, I wrote about finally getting to my semi-retired state and the restructuring of my life an schedule. As I've been immersing myself into that I've noticed that I have had a distinct desire to just be alone. I've felt very little desire to interact with others. I don't have any problem when I do interact. It all can be very pleasant. But no need to reach out and make that interaction happen.
At the same time, I am feeling very content doing all the little things that in the past would have been distractions from working. Anything from doing chores around the house to spending all that time playing with grandchildren would have had an element of "I really need to be doing that work that is there."
And there is more and more of a feeling of open-eyed meditation. This is something that your supposed to be trying to achieve. We think of meditation as something where we have to go into a quiet, dark, secluded place so we are not distracted by the world around us. But as you continue to work and deepen your perception and strength, you are able to carry that meditative state around with you even while you're acting in the world. That's called open-eyed meditation. Being at home with Wife and doing our daily life together is an environment where it is very easy to get into the open eyed meditation state.
This was all a bit puzzling to me. Why didn't I want to be with anyone? Why did I want to be alone? Why was I so content doing all these little things that never held any interest for me before?
I had the realization that I had in fact created my own personal monastery. What is a monastery but a place where people go to get away from distraction, to be able to contemplate, meditate, and pray. And monastic life always contains the work component. It acknowledges the value of work without having an attachment to what work it is or the outcome of the work.
Fortunately, the de-I monastic order is NOT one of these real austere ones. We still believe in a bit of wine each day :)
3 comments:
your post made me immediately think of aunt Bernice's recent musings on her blog of spending a pleasant couple hours picking leaves off dried herbs. I feel that way with cooking... er sometimes.
Thank you for sharing your post. Open-eyed meditation is inspiring!
Open Eyed meditation - interesting. Sounds a little bit like something I've been working on - to be thankful throughout the day, for everything, not just the obvious. Developing this habit helps to minimize darkness in the mind.
Of course, I suspect that with fewer work obligations, you naturally feel less stressed about various chores or just sitting and playing with the kids. As it should be! You make me really look forward to that time in my life! With my work life in full swing right now, sometimes it's so hard to slow down and stop thinking about everything that has to be addressed during any given day - or week, for that matter!
Post a Comment