Shit on the Internet!

Not shit as in "I hate you internet"

Shit as in Guano.

Wife and I were having dinner today and we were talking about our plans to do some landscaping in the backyard.  She introduced an idea of putting bench in one of the corners on the upper tier.  She said there was going to be a tree put their according to the plans and that the bench under the shade would be be very nice.

I replied, "But dear, it will be covered with bird shit."  We have doves here,  If there is a tree, there will be doves.  If there are doves, there will be dove shit.  Wife has been complaining for years about certain parts of our back patio that get non-stop shit on them from the doves.  After some back and forth I could see I wasn't going to win this argument and being a successful husband (the one word key to a successful marriage - Capitulate) I said, "OK.  Good idea.  After about 10 years we can gather up the Guano and sell it for a profit.

Wife says, "It won't be Guano.  Guano is bat shit." I said, "No, it's bird shit too."

Now things get transformed by Wife and my begrudging introduction into the 21st century with our iPhones.  I get my phone.  Go on the internet and look up Guano Wikipedia and it says Guano is sea bird shit, bat shit and seal shit.  Thank you internet.  Thank you iPhone. 

(BTW sea bird shit is much better fertilizer than bat or seal shit.  Also Guano is preferred to other natural fertilizers like manure because it doesn't smell.  Thank you Wikipedia)