More On The Process Of Transition

Does 5 weeks count as 'a few'?  It was May 24th when I wrote my first post on the process of my transitioning to the next phase of my life.  I finished that post by saying that I would have more (hopefully) on this over the next few weeks.  Well it's July 4 and this is the first time I'm returning to the subject.

So I was relating that one of the things I found hardest to do was to identify what I really want to be doing going forward.  But before I get into that, I think I will reprise what this looks like from a human process standpoint.  I'm pulling from working with others as well as my own experience here.

First, one gets the recognition that one is not going to last for ever.  This recognition is not just the academic sort of exercise we all say in a glib sort of way.  This is the real visceral, in your face understanding that it really is getting late...that you don't necessarily have that much more time.  In my case, I was on that path but the year of my Dad passing created the 'in your face' realization.  There are a lot of people who never seem to get this realization.  They just kind of fritter their life away and then just 'find themselves' someplace and it is never what they hoped it would be because they've never engaged in a process that would define what that is or work toward it.

Second, one starts to get serious about where one is financially.  I've been self-employed the bulk of my working life.  Most of the people I work with are the same.  So it is hard for me to understand this from the point of view of a person who has been employed most of their life.  But what  I've seen in the world of the self-employed is that this realization often comes late.   That realization takes the form of 'Gad, I don't want to have to be working this hard until I'm dead!'  That leads to 'getting religion' as in starting a serious process of saving and building capital.  I've been here and it has been the mental focus for much of my last 15 years.

Third, if one has success, luck, or both a day arrives when there is a realization that, 'Gee, I actually have enough where I don't have to work (or work nearly as much) if I don't want to!'  This is a big shocker.  If you're a type A work, work, work kind of person and you suddenly realize you don't have to the next question is the one I posed last time, 'So what do I really want to do going forward.'  Closely related to this often is some side realizations such as 'I am really tired...no not just daily tired but weary lifelong tired'.  And that leads to 'You know there are about 2/3rds of the work things I do that I really don't want to be doing.'

 Fourth, if you're taking charge of your life rather than let it take charge of you, you now say, I really need to think this through and make some decisions.'  If you're smart about his, you get someone to help you.  Even though I have helped hundreds and hundreds of people with making decisions about their business and personal lives, I recognized that this is not something you can do on your own.  It really helps to have someone, maybe more than one, who can act as your guide in working things through and who can provide expert advice as needed in areas where you don't have the knowledge.

This is where I'll stop now and pick up next time (hopefully with less of a break than before).