I got home from a short business trip to Denver today at around 4:30 PM. I was doing some unpacking and catch up work at my desk. The phone rung. The caller ID was from my brother-in-law from Ohio.
"How's it going"
"Not good. A, our son-in-law died today. We're driving to Washington. It was a freak accident."
I'm speechless. Their daughter and her husband have been very close to us.
"I know there's nothing we can do for you now but let me know if there is as you get a handle on things."
"I've got to call my other brothers and sisters."
Wife and I are both stunned. Sure you read in the paper or see on the news every day the tragedies that affect others. But as long as it isn't anyone close to you, you live the fantasy that your life and the lives of those your care about will just go on in complete unfettered normalcy.
But that's not the real world. The real world has its tragedies, its lack of logic, its unpleasantness, its unhappiness. Its the yin and yang. There is no good without bad, no life without death, no happiness without unhappiness, no pleasure without pain.
We want it all one way, the nice way. And maybe you are very fortunate to go a long time without being reminded of that. But you need to be reminded and remember how lucky you are when things are going well.
In the meantime, Wife and I wonder, what can we do, how can we help, how do we be of some kind of support but not a burden. I remember with my Dad's passing how I got to hate all the attempts of people to support me because I got so sick of telling the same unpleasant story over and over.
I'm sure it will come to us but right now we're still just sort of in shock and so sad for our niece and her parents.
7 comments:
Life is so uncertain. We are just shell shocked and wishing we could be there for RM. Words on a computer seem so trite in trying to express the complexity of emotions.
you said it P. Distance makes it even worse.
We are so sorry for your loss. Thinking of you and your family. We know you are close to RM.
Thank you for writing this.
Rene,we're so sorry to hear of your loss. We can still remember the wonderful times in spain when we all met.our thoughts are with you .
Ugh, that sucks. I'm blessed to be in a long stretch of only pleasant personal experiences.
I'm so sorry for your loss!
I never know what to do or say at times like this. The father of a good friend died recently and he said it was good just to know that others were thinking of him and praying. He said there was very little that others could actually do to ease the burden and when he needed help, he would reach out and ask. Maybe it's enough for you to have expressed your sorrow and offer to be there if and when needed.
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