Thursday, June 12, 2014

Street Fight - Another de-I / Magical Unicorn Pony God of Travel Battle

After all those weeks traveling to, in and from Europe without really any problems to speak of, it was easy to become complacent and forget the ongoing threat that is the Magical Unicorn Pony God of Travel.  But on Monday as I was getting reminded that horned juvenile godlet never forgets when there is vengeance on its mind.

The battle we had was not high-minded battle of minds.  This was brutal street fight.  MUPGT let it be known right from the start that we were going to be at war when before I even left the house, I got a text from the airline that my connecting flight from Houston to Chicago was canceled and I was put on a later flight then one text, and then another, each telling me that my flight from Albuquerque to Houston was being postponed later and later.  We were running two hours late when I got to the airport at 1 PM. 

I saw that a flight scheduled for 10:30 AM was running four hours late.  My flight to Houston kept being put back.  Unicorn Pony God was just whacking me again and again with horn and hoof.  I picked myself up and went to my friends at the premier desk and got myself rebooked on flight going through Denver.  Hah! Take that little horse with horns godling!

Literally minutes after my rebooking phone call a text comes in telling me that my Albuquerque to Denver flight is pushed back by hours. 

“Ha stupid human de-I take that!  There's is no way you’re going to get to Chicago!”

Back on the phone with premier desk – I’m going to miss my connection in Denver so I get saved on the next and last one.  More delays on the Albuquerque to Denver flight but that’s OK because both my original Albuquerque to Houston and Houston to Chicago flights have now been canceled and I would have been screwed if I had stayed on that route.  So this is the only route open for me. 

One-horned Pony God keeps throwing delays at me.  I check hotels in Denver (thank you AinA for app!) and there are plenty of rooms.  If necessary, I will spend over night there. I get myself a back-up reservation for a 6 AM flight on Tuesday.  Our flight finally comes in.  It is 8 PM and we will be 8:30 before we get off.  It will be near impossible make my connection in Denver.

MUGPT –“Yes, yes, yes, yes, I have defeated you de-I.  Go rot in your hotel in Denver and then see how I screw up your attempts on Tuesday morning. Bwahahahahaha.”

But de-I is the Zen warrior of business travel.  There is no panic.  What will be will be.  Our flight gets into Denver.  It is a tiny regional jet.  I have to spend valuable time waiting for my bag.  Normally this flight would be at a gate way the hell out requiring a very long walk to get to the main set of gates.  But de-I uses some of his accumulated luck and has the plane arrive just 10 gates away from the departing gate.  As I get into the main terminal I hear the final announcement for my flight.  No panic.  No running though walking is with purpose.  I can feel the semi-divine equine juvenile realizing that I’m slipping through its grasp.  I arrive at the gate.  They are getting ready to close the plane.  I’m the last person aboard. 

“Noooooooo, how can I have failed!  de-I I hate you!”

To rub salt in the wound, I get a first class upgrade and there is plenty of room for my overhead bag.  I finally get into Chicago at 1:30 and to my partner’s at 2 AM.  But I’m there, bruised and battered but victorious.


Agent W snd the Derf said...

All hail to de-I, the Zen warrior of business travel, for his victory!!

alexis said...

holy crap, what a nightmare flight. What was the cause of all the delays - weather?

de-I said...

Yes, huge storms all throughout Texas

terri said...

And I thought unicorns were supposed to be sweet and kind!