Hubris In The Form Of Lasagna

Hubris

English picked up both the concept of hubris and the term for that particular brand of cockiness from the ancient Greeks, who considered hubris a dangerous character flaw capable of provoking the wrath of the gods. In classical Greek tragedy, hubris was often a fatal shortcoming that brought about the fall of the tragic hero. Typically, overconfidence led the hero to attempt to overstep the boundaries of human limitations and assume a godlike status, and the gods inevitably humbled the offender with a sharp reminder of their mortality.

For months I have been thinking and talking of making lasagna. It is a dish that I've made since I was first married and I've lost track of the number of times I've made it. In the beginning, it was always associated with Christmas. I made a very specific, personalized version that was made to Wife's specific liking. As our children got into elementary school, they preferred we make pizza on the holiday and that became the family tradition. But I kept making lasagna at other times of the year. Always it was the occasional 'big event' dish because it took a lot of effort the way I did it. 

Then I started to make pasta from scratch. This led me to become more creative with the lasagna genre motivated by the lighter homemade pasta noodles. It had been a quite a while since I'd made one. It's the kind of dish that serves a lot so its nice to have a group to serve it to. Cooking for large numbers seems to be one of those things that one lets go off as age starts eating into one's physical abilities. So I hadn't the motivation.

But, with all the talking of my making lasagna prowess, I decided I was going to do it this holiday. I had in my mind a number of enhancements to make the process more efficient. Since Wife was my only customer, I would make the 'classic' version. I would create an epic blog post going step-by-step through the process to the glorious outcome. However, as my grandiose vision arose, the Gods saw the need bring things in line. 

A Tale of Death by a Thousand Cuts

It was not a single catastrophic failure that brings about the hubris like end to our story. It is rather a series of minor errors that combined lead to de-I's downfall. And since I am writing this as a mea culpa to my sin of hubris, I will go through all the gory details of my downfall

I went through much planning and effort to make for an easier time on the day of actual preparation. Here is everything laid out and ready to go. Though in that preparation, I already had planted seeds of the unpleasant future

From the upper left corner going clockwise - Cheese sauce, Italian sausage, Meatballs, Tomato sauce, Mozzarella cheese, Parmigiano Reggiano cheese. Below is my beloved 1950's something roasting pan I use only for making lasagna. (A note on the Cheese sauce - in Northern Italy they like to use Bechamel, a cream sauce. In Southern Italy they like Ricotta cheese. As most American Italians are of Southern Italian descent, Ricotta is the default ingredient. I didn't like either so I added cheese to my Bechamel. The problem with this, as we will see, is you lose a structure providing ingredient that Ricotta provides.)

You will note the Cheese sauce because it was made the day before had solidified. That was a root cause of one of my errors. You will not see that the Tomato sauce had a flaw as well. I like cooking it with some bone-in meat to give it more depth. But I chose a cut with a lot of smaller bones and connective tissue. These fell apart in the cooking process. I was able to fish out most. But some small bone pieces made it through. These were Very Unpleasant to run into in the final product)

Left to make on the day of, the pasta

Don't forget that all important Italian Semola flour!

In fact the pasta turned out extremely well...accept for one problem I will uncover below.

On to assembly - a layer of sauce on the bottom followed by the first layer of pasta

 

You might notice one of the unforeseen flaws here, the delicate nature of the pasta.

Our next layer is the Mozzarella, Meatballs, with another layer of sauce

Here we find another error, the amount of sauce. It is a delicate balance. You need enough sauce so the lasagna isn't dry. But too much at it will be soupy and not hold its shape.

Our next layer will add the Cheese Sauce, the Italian Sausage, and more Tomato Sauce

Two more errors - it's not easy to notice in the middle picture above but I put that whole container of Cheese Sauce in because it was solid and I couldn't get it to spread out. But when I cooked it, it all melted creating a lot of liquid. And I put a lot more Tomato Sauce on. We're like the lasagna version of the Titanic at this point not realizing our doom is upon us.

The last layer of Pasta with more Tomato Sauce and a coating of Parmigiano Reggiano.

Then into the oven

Where I proceeded to make a series more errors. I had seen on a recent video where they cooked the lasagna at 350 degrees covered in foil for 30 minutes and then under the broiler for 10 minutes to crisp the top. HOWEVER, should have remembered that because of the size of my lasagnas and the effect of altitude that I needed to cook it at a higher temperature. And I've never covered my lasagna so why I decided to do so now was a mystery. 

It took much longer to cook as a result. When I put it under the broiler, I was distracted because one of the daughters called. It ended up partially burning on the top! The final blow.

Wife and I were starving. Under the best of circumstances one should let his rest to firm up a bit. Historically, my first day lasagnas have always been on the 'wet' side. But this was a soup. A major contributor? The Pasta. It was great pasta. Just the wrong pasta for this application. The delicate pasta simply didn't hold its shape in all this liquid. Store bought firmer pasta would have been a much better choice.

The sad looking plate

Now here is the real irony. The flavor of it was really good! It was spot on the classic version. BUT I DISCOVERED I REALLY DON'T LIKE THAT VERSION ANY MORE!  Our tastes change at every aspect of life, and I just don't enjoy the Tomato Sauce forward version that this is. I like my more delicate, meat sauce versions that go with my homemade pasta. 

So my Hubris event was complete.

Holiday Shopping - Eldership Style

 While Wife slowly builds back her strength from the blood clot event, we're taking a decidedly low key approach to the holidays. As it is with family so far away, this has turned out to not be a time when we do a whole bunch anyway. 

We did put up our tree, an artificial thing that has gotten so misshapen and whose built in lights only partially work that we've committed to finally dumping it at the end of the season. While I did most of the heavy work, Wife did do the final decorating. I must say it is one of the more tastefully decorated trees we've put out. Probably because I was prevented from putting on the massive amount of tinsel I usually do. 

We were hemming and hawing on getting presents for each other. This is true for so many couples if you've had success in your life. You pretty much have what you want or if you want something, you just get it. So we've opted for version of that pragmatic approach. We each are going out buying things for ourselves. Then we are giving it to our spouse to wrap up and present as if they bought it. 

I'm telling you we will be like kids again as we open package after package getting all the things we had our heart set on for Christmas.

Transition Of A Different Kind

Daughter #1 is visiting.

After Wife's blood clot event, she wanted to come and spend time. I was thrown back to the 1990's. When we first moved to New Mexico, I suddenly had this strong feeling that I had to be with my parents much more than I had been. For the next 18 years I would go to Connecticut 3 or 4 times a year just to spend time with them. 

It's been lovely having her here though sobering at the same time. She (of course) has been trying to help out. Wife and I being of the independent mindset had a bit of problem letting go. She asked if she could help with the laundry and making the beds (which dominates my Saturdays). I am in the process of giving her instructions on using the washer and dryer. She says,

"Dad. I'm a nearly 50 year old woman with children in college and high school. I've done a bit of laundry." 

Point taken. Sigh. Another transition taking place.

Some Clarity BUT The Ominous Head Of Sisyphus Returns

Following Wife's experiences in the hospital, I was very angry about our frustrations dealing with the medical system and was determined to figure out how to better manage the system. Because as sure as the sun rises and sets, we're going to have more of this kind of thing given our age.

Our first step was to schedule a meeting with our family doctor (Primary Care Physician or PCP in med-care lingo). We've been going to the same physician for decades. We followed her when she left a large group practice and established her own concierge practice. Over the many years when our health has been pretty good, we've questioned the value of spending as much as we do to have that access and availability. Well spoiler alert. The current situation has shown how valuable this is and is very likely to be in the future.

Let's start with the fact that we were able to schedule a consultation that lasted an hour with little waiting. Wife had been extremely upset that the vascular surgery office who did the work at the hospital refused to even let her talk to the Physicians Assistant who cared for her because 'she was not officially a patient of the office yet'. As it turned out we were able to get all our questions answered by our PCP. What a relief. Here is what we found out.

• Wife is the picture of health with the exception of her blood clots and those are being dealt with. 
• That was the reason the hospital staff was relatively sanguine while we were there. She wasn't showing any sign of deterioration. Rather all her work was positive. 
• This has been a great relief to Wife. I didn't realize how much all this has been weighing on her as she hadn't vocalized it. 
• But we know know that this is just going to take time for it to be worked through. 

Then we got into the hospital and how we might deal with it in the future.

• According to PCP, hospitals have been so understaffed that they've adopted a behavior pattern that is focused on keeping people alive. 
• That means, if you are dying when you come in, they will be all over you.
• Otherwise, they will get to you when they get to you
• So if you feel you're being ignored, that is probably a good sign!
• That, however, doesn't do a whole lot for all the pain management, comfort, day-to-day existence issues related to being a hospital patient.
• We'd figured out, the hospital staff was pretty happy to let me help Wife in all kinds of ways we thought staff should do. 
• So in the future, we should assume we are going to have to do a lot for ourselves (unplug the patient so he/she can go to the toilet, get water/drinks, move the bed, etc. (almost like being in Ghana).
• And we're going to have to be way more proactive in trying to get answers to questions. In this regard we will have to take more advantage of PCP.
• When we go to the emergency room we will pack food, drinks, warm clothes/blankets, computers, anything to maximize comfort. You know you will be there for hours.
• All this means, whoever is not getting the care should be prepared to be there and be the partner to make sure all gets done that should be done.
  

At the end, Wife asked the question we had been dreading to ask. "Can I travel?" PCP said, "Sure. Why not? Just be sure to be using your blood thinners and move around." That blew us away. 

Then came our 'Sisyphus Moment'. We were talking about her breathing issues. Wife noted her blood oxygen was higher in the doctors office than at home. PCP said it is all altitude related. Her office is about 700 feet lower than our house. And she said, "YOU MIGHT WANT TO THINK ABOUT MOVING TO SEA LEVEL IF THE PROBLEM CONTINUES."

AGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

Not all the questions about should we stay in Albuquerque, and if not where should we go again? Not should we do the work on the house agaub? It's Groundhog Day all over.

My Diet Feels Like The Lusitania

This time of year is hardly the best for trying to lose weight. But coming back from Europe SO overweight made it mandatory. Wife's blood clot scare and current slow recovery has made it easier for me to cut back on the food. Not even Thanksgiving really dented the progress. 

Then came my birthday yesterday.

Actually, all was going along as planned, just like that ill-fated liner in 1917. It would be a day like any other. Like the passengers on that liner I could see the destination coast, in my case a very low calorie saute shrimp, bok choy, and mushrooms. 

Then, like the U-Boat that struck the Lusitania, it struck.

One doesn't think of Wife as a 'U-Boat'. But she comes into my office. Sits in the chair next to my desk. She says,

"de-I, I need to talk to you about something."

Those words rarely are a good thing to hear.

"I've been dreaming about pizza." She looks at me with these round, puppy dog eyes. "I dream about being denied pizza. It's your birthday. We need to do something special for you...well," she admits, "for me." She smiles fetchingly.

I can feel the thud of the torpedoes into the ship of my diet. It is listing. Will there be room in the lifeboats? I doubt it...at least for tonight.

The pizza was delicious.

Theodora Update - December 2024

2024 represents the fourth full year of our development of the Theodora Project. Although we officially started our training in April of 2020, it wasn't until 2021 that we had enough initial training to actually start working with clients. And in reality, that was far sooner than we should have. But the effects of the Covid pandemic had made a bootstrapping approach the only way we could stay alive and move forward. Looking back now, the level of capability we had then was truly minimal.

 

Now fast forward to today. Theodora Ghana Virtual Assistants has made massive leaps forward this year. Our level of service to clients has expanded exponentially (see below Sample of Types Work Your TGVA Assistant Can Do For You). Truly, it is amazing to see the level of work these women are doing when you consider the majority of them had never even used a computer when we started just 4 years ago. It shows the potential this program has. Another measure of service quality is the substantial reduction in client turnover. That was a major weakness of ours in 2022 and 2023 as our own errors or lack of attention to client service led to our losing clients as fast as we were adding them. That is no longer the case. 

 

Financially, we also made breakthroughs. We will be breakeven for the year. This means 100% of salaries, rent, & business overhead were covered by the business revenues generated. That business revenue translates into a 20% annual reoccurring benefit on the original donation amount! That’s a statement very few social impact programs can make. Our people make on average three to four times the average salary for a woman in Ghana.

 

Management, leadership, and self-ownership attitude all advanced substantially. Starting this summer, I extracted myself from day-to-day management. The team has taken full responsibility for managing client work, client challenges, staff issues, and all other operational work. They, with minimal oversight, have designed and our implementing our first organized year-end fundraising effort. We expect our Employee Ownership Trust to be in place by January of 2025 fulfilling our promise from the beginning to build a business owned buy.

 

Having proved the viability of our concept, our Boards urged us to get more serious about raising the money necessary to expand our programs foundation and start building for growth. We launched Theodora with the barest amount of capital. But, the small team the started this project understood issues that would need to be addressed long-term to make a viable, sustainable, long-term program once the initial concept was proven. Some of these issues are:

 

• The need for a quality work space in a location that is reasonably accessible 
• Top quality IT infrastructure to allow us to work at the level our clients demand
• Housing assistance to get the women we recruit out of their negative environments and into a positive environment as soon as possible
• Trauma counseling – this goes hand-in-hand with the nature of our program and the people we serve and recruit 
• Access to healthcare – for the same reasons as our need for trauma counseling

 

Our own success is bringing challenges. We’re getting closer to potential capacity. But it takes a year to get one of our recruits to the point where they are able to billable. The current fundraising campaign is the first step in what will be an ongoing fundraising function for the operation. If you know people who are supporters of anti-trafficking, women’s rights and empowerment in Africa, or African economic development, we believe the accomplishments and potential of the Theodora Africa program will hold up to any donors scrutiny (our legal entity for donations, Podolny Group International, is a 501.c.3, tax exempt organization with a GuideStar Bronze transparency rating). Donations can be made through our website Donation page.

 

Samples of Work Your Theodora Ghana Virtual Assistant Can Do For You

 

Event Management - CRM Workflow Management

·       Analyze Current Workflow

·       Design Automated Workflow System using the CRM

·       Implement the Workflow System

·       Test and Optimize System

Podcast Marketing Program

·       Profile Setup

·       Potential Host Research and Selection

·       Client Approval

·       Outreach to Podcast Hosts

·       Booking and Scheduling

·       Recording Follow-Up

Entrepreneur’s Office Administration

·       Provide Accounting and Invoicing Support

·       Conduct Website and SEO Checks

·       Write New Business Proposals

·       Draft Google Posts for Clients

·       Provide Meeting Support

·       Research New Software Tools

·       Marketing Support

·       Support Owner’s Remote Work

 

LINKEDIN Campaign Management

·       Provide Profile Optimization

·       Develop Content Strategy

·       Create Content Calendar

·       Research Target Audience

·       Monitor and Enhance Engagement

·       Join Appropriate LinkedIn Groups

·       Develop Networking

·       Analyze and Track Result

·       Evaluate and Report

 

Improving the Productivity of a Busy Non-Profit Executive

·       Organizing and prioritizing her emails

·       Develop and Implement a Consistent Graphic Design System

·       Develop and Implement a Consistent Word Processing System

·       Meeting Recording, Documentation, and Follow up

·       Daily Task Management and Reporting

Thanksgiving Fried Chicken Extravaganza

Wife doesn't like turkey.

So what does one do on Thanksgiving, THE TURKEY HOLIDAY? Well you don't make turkey. So what then? I was wracking my brain and I settled on Fried Chicken. Wife and I had tried this a number of years ago. It wasn't bad. Fried Chicken is notoriously difficult to make because there are numerous variables one has to deal with from the flavoring of the chicken itself, the battering or breading one chooses, not to mention the actual deep fat frying procedure. None of this was anything where I had any particular expertise or experience.

I did remember the wonderful fried chicken we had for breakfast numerous times in Krabi, Thailand last spring. At the time, I was perplexed about how they actually produced the end result. I decided to do a bit of research, As fate would have it, I was directed to a cook who I'd seen on YouTube doing a very authentic Pad Thai. As soon as I saw the recipe and the accompanying videos, I knew I'd found the guide I was looking for. Here are the basic elements.

1. Brining / Flavoring - I find with almost anything related to chicken a brine and flavor bath is key to getting flavor. This is a pretty simple combination by Thai standards with just white peppercorns, cilantro stems, garlic, sugar, fish sauce, soy sauce, and water. And that's it (though having a Thai style massive mortar and pestle helps because you need to pound the shit out of every thing to create a paste).
   
2. Rice Flour to Create the Crust - You simply add the rice flour to the chicken and brine just before you cook. No dredging in multiple steps.

And that's it. With the exception of the actual frying (more on that below). On to the action!

 Our mise en place getting ready to prepare our chicken

 Making the batter covered chicken - so simple compared to other fried chicken preparations

Battered chicken ready to be fried!

Now the REAL action. Chicken in the fryer. Will de-I die of third degree burns? Will he burn down the Tower completely?

NO! By all the Cooking Deities, this looks like real fried chicken!

 

We made 'faux' Frites using a recipe I love from the Joy of Cooking (a favorite cookbook)

Wife and My Simple Thanksgiving Spread

Analysis:

This was a very interesting cooking exercise both from using a totally unfamiliar means of preparing the chicken to doing a cooking technique I am mostly unfamiliar with. Will we do it again? Yes. There was enough good that it warrants perfecting it. But it needs a number of modifications. 

1. The sizes of the chicken pieces - I had too many different sizes that made it difficult to get uniform cooking. And they were too large for the pot I had available. We will only do chicken wings next time and make sure they are not too big!
2. Limit the volume cooked - i hadn't looked at the volume of chicken the recipe called for and bought 4 TIMES THE WEIGHT! Bad move. This caused all kinds of problems because I had to cook in four batches with all kinds of issues controlling the temperature of the oil
3. Have a Thermometer that works - I was using a candy thermometer we've had for decades. I found out (as I suspected from he data it was giving me) it was not close to accurate when I used an instant read thermometer to double check. This led to some pieces getting overcooked and others under cooked.
4. Minor adjustments to the flavoring - It needed a bit more salt and a touch more heat.

I have written all this down. This is something I'm definitely going to do again. I think this flavoring and technique will go well with seafood such as shrimp, scallops, and fish like tilapia or catfish.

Disconnect

It has been slow going for Wife since she's returned from the hospital. The first few days she was totally exhausted most of the time. The last couple of days (a week since the event initiated) she has been showing noticeable improvement. But in the aftermath of the event (don't know what else to call it), She and I have been doing a lot of reflection on the experience with the medical system.

On Thursday, Wife had her first follow-up appointment with her primary care doctor since the event. Let me ask you. How would you react to these words.

• You could have died!
• You had a MASSIVE clot
• They were very close to going into surgery to pull it out

 Here is how Wife and I reacted.

Wide Eyed Fear and a feeling of being totally shaken up emotionally.

And this is after the event. 

This was immediately followed by questions...a LOT of questions and ruminations..

Why didn't we hear any words like this while we were in the hospital system indicating the severity of the problem? There was one person only, the technician who put Wife on the Heparin drip when he told me to stay the night, who verbalized "this is serious. You need to be here."

Virtually all the rest of the communication was kind of matter of fact or incomplete. 

"We're going to do this. And if that is good, we're going to send you home."  

"Why am I on a liquid diet? We don't know. We'll find out. (Much later). They wanted you to be ready if you had to go to surgery." Oh why didn't anyone tell us that? And why was she going to need surgery?

The hospital doctors saying, "We're sending you home. Take it easy for a week. Then you should be able to start doing your normal things." Versus the primary care doctor, "You just had a major trauma to your body. You need to take it easy. This is going to take a while to recover."

As we reflect upon the experience, we recognize on one hand that many parts of the system didn't seem to know what our situation was. Maybe they are so overwhelmed that they can't know what is going on with each patient. But on another level, there was clearly some kind of communication and discussion going on between the hospital doctor, the vascular surgeon, and maybe others where they were making decisions on the pathway of Wife's care. It seems as if our primary care doctor was aware of this. How come we weren't brought into the loop? Are the patient and their loved ones just extras in this drama?

So in addition to the emotion we've been feeling, there has been a lot of talk about what do we do when the next even takes place. Because at our age another even IS going to take place.

Wife Goes Through The Looking Glass (Part Three) - A de-I Family Health Adventure

It is Saturday. I make my way back to the hospital. Things are pretty much status quo. Wife said she actually got some reasonable sleep. She's eating her salt free fried eggs without much gusto. I joke that I should have sneaked in some salt. But she's adamant. Whatever it takes to get out of the hospital she will do. 

I am figuring out that the hospital staff is actually pretty happy if you, the patient's relative, will do a lot of the mundane tasks. Unplug the monitoring device so it is on battery and she can go to the toilet or take a walk? Sure. You do it. Go get tea, coffee, crackers, etc from their 'nutrition' room. Sure. Be the one to walk her around. Sure.

So I get Wife some tea and I get some coffee. Her room mate is off for dialysis so we are alone in the room. It is a waiting game. I made myself a sandwich so I could eat when she got her meal. Compared to Friday morning when there was so much activity, there is a lack of interaction with the hospital staff at all in the morning. 

Around midday, we see both doctors (not at the same time). Both confirm that Wife is responding well to the anticoagulant. The vascular surgeon says Wife's vital signs are pretty amazing considering what she has gone through . (Go Wife and her regime to take care of herself!). They say they are ready to release her and put her on an oral anticoagulant. All they need is one more blood test to confirm the drugs are working as they should.

Now again we descend into the hospital waiting game. When are the blood people going to come? We kill time by my researching the two likely drugs she will be given, their side effects, and costs. The side effect information is promising. Not many all things considered. The price information? Not so good. This shit is expensive. Fortunately the doctors have told Wife she should only be on them for three to six months.

It is late afternoon. Will these blood people ever come? And if they come really late, will they be letting Wife discharge? And if the discharge time gets past 9pm, is that the best thing for Wife and I? Wife and I go for another of her walks around the floor. It makes a nice loop. We are doing three loops. Wife is getting very good at driving her pole around the various obstacles we encounter.

Wait!

We are coming to a room where it looks like the 'blood sample people' are outside doing their thing. We talk to them. Yes, they are in fact the 'blood sample people' (makes them sound like they are some kind of dark aliens). And they confirm, Wife is on the list. Great. They are on the floor and not all that far from her room. We finish our laps and head back to the room feeling upbeat that this last hurdle will be jumped.

Accept they don't come. Hours go by. It is around 5pm. Wife and I debate. If I stay, I am getting more anxious. And knowing Murphy's Law they will not come. BUT, if I go, they are sure to come and I will have to turn right around and come back. We make the decision for me to go home. I am grabbing something to eat. I won't drink any wine because I might have to run back to the hospital. Sure enough. Within 30 minutes of my leaving the 'blood sample people' show up. Not terribly long after that, the results are given to the doctors and they give the green light to discharge Wife. She tells me to come on and pick her up. She's feeling pretty upbeat.

But there is one last delay (in my hospital experience, this is almost a given). There is no one around who can actually produce (print out) the discharge instructions and give them to Wife. So I have to go back up to her room and we wait another 30 minutes until finally a person arrives, gives us our instructions, and Wife is officially released and wheeled down so I can take her home. 

We get home. She's beat but happy to be in her own house and bed. After she crashes, I have a drink and give a multitude of thanks that we've managed to dodge a real bullet. From the time Wife had her appointment with her primary care physician on Thursday to getting her home has been roughly 56 hours. It seems a lot longer. A business network friend of mine told me today at lunch his wife has a serious form of cancer. I know things could be a lot worse. I am grateful we've been able to get through this as easily (relatively speaking) as we have,

Wife Goes Through The Looking Glass (Part Two) - A de-I Family Health Adventure

 Wife is now fully assimilated in the Other Dimension of Reality that is the Hospital System. It is a world where communication is almost always incomplete and random. It is a world where long periods of inactivity are interrupted by a constant flow of activity. This is a world where facilitating that most important of healing activities - rest - is constantly assaulted by light, sound, and activity. Let's follow Wife's journey through the Hospital Dimension.

I get to the hospital at around 8:30am on Friday. Wife is a bit spacey. She's not had anything to eat. I brought here a cheese sandwich as I had a feeling that her nutritional needs would be lost in the shuffle. She's now been in the hospital for a couple of hours. Nothing has happened. 

At about 9am, the floodgates open. In come people to draw blood. At the ER, they had put in two ports in her arm telling her one was for the anticoagulant drip to go in and the other was for taking blood out for on going testing. However, they tell her they must poke her again in a separate place to draw blood. She tries to explain about the second port but no, the blood people are adamant. They MUST make a new poke. They will do this for the entire stay. (We will finally be told by her hospital doctor almost as she is leaving when we asked why, that it the extra port is to allow easy access to put things in her if a crisis should have occurred. Nice to learn this just before we leave!) There are all kinds of other comings and goings. 

They come in to do an ultrasound of her heart. This takes 30 minutes. The med tech tells us she can't interpret the results. HOWEVER, if she suddenly calls into her intercom for a doctor, that will the signal that something bad is happening. Great. the 30 minutes comes and goes. No call for the doctors.

With all this complete, we are left with a final message that the doctor will be coming and let us know what is going on.

It is a little before 10am. There is this kind of sigh of relief as the intensity of of activity has subsided. Wife tries to get some sleep. We're waiting for the doctor. We will wait a long time. He and his colleague from vascular surgery won't show up until around 4pm. 

We are waiting and waiting, wondering and wondering. We know this is no small matter. But we have not a clue as to what to expect. What kind of treatment will be recommended? What is her prognosis? And she still hasn't been fed! We were able to build a good relationship with her nurse, Anna Kai. She found that Wife had been put on a liquids only diet. Why? Anna didn't know. Those were just the instructions. And it turns out you have to order your food. So Wife finally gets a rather insipid meal of broth, a sugarless popsicle, and juice. 

Wife and I kill time by figuring out how to unplug her monitoring device so it runs on battery and she can get up by herself and go to the toilet. She has lucked out big time in the room. These are converted former one patient suites. They now hold two people because the hospital is desperate for space (lots of old sick people these days...I'm looking at YOU de-I...OLD). There are no proper curtains separating the spaces, just some flimsy portable screens that are in danger of falling over at any moment. The front 'room' has virtually nothing in it. But the back room by the window is grand with a big couch and a separate chair for Wife to get up out of the bed (which is killing her back). I make use of the couch to lie down frequently. Even though I'm hardly going through the trauma of Wife, I'm feeling pretty beat.

Finally, at about 4pm a doctor shows up. This is our 'hospitalist' or our hospital based caregiver. He is of South Asian descent. He is type A+++. It is exhausting to go through a session with him. BUT he cares. You can tell. And he gives you information. He answers all your questions. Shortly after him, we meet the representative of Vascular Surgery. She is equally energetic, though in a bubbly, friendly kind of way. You are not exhausted after being with her. 

We FINALLY now understand the majority of the picture. The short of it was they needed to see if the anticoagulant was working. If it wasn't, they would need to do some kind of surgery to remove the clot. Hence the liquid diet. But no, Wife was responding well. In fact they were lauding all her vital signs (Go Wife and your long efforts to keep exercising and eat right!). So no surgery. And they could move her to a solid diet, the 'heart friendly' (aka tasteless, bland) diet.

Now we finally have the picture. If Wife's blood work (which evidently provides markers that the anticoagulants are working and dissolving the clot) keeps going in the right direction, they could let her out on Saturday.

We decide it doesn't make sense for me to stay any longer. At 5:30pm, I head home. I do a bunch of laundry so Wife can have clean sheets and towels when she gets back. I eat some leftovers. I text Wife to make sure all is still calm at the hospital. Fairly early, I conk out. Hopefully, tomorrow, Saturday, she will be released.

Wife Goes Through The Looking Glass (Part One) - A de-I Family Health Adventure

Wife and I are back at the Tower after a 56 hour whirlwind experience in that alternative reality known as the U.S. hospital system. Shortly after our return to the United States from Europe Fall 2024, Wife noticed she was having extreme fatigue. Then she started having pain in her left arm. And it began to swell. Thursday morning she noticed odd black and blue marks on her arm. She already had an appointment to see our doctor. I was off for some client meetings. At 3pm just as one of the client meetings was starting, my phone rings. It is Wife. 

Wife NEVER calls me during business meetings. She would leave a text if there was something she needed so I would contact her after the meeting. This was not normal. I answered. She was short and to the point.

"de-I, I have a blood clot. Doctor says you need to come home ASAP and take me to the Emergency Room."

Right. I made my apologies to my client and headed home. Once there, I got Wife and off we went to the Urgent Care/Emergency Room facility indicated by Doctor. As we were driving, I knew we were about to Go Through the Looking Glass again. For those who might not have been following me back in 2008, I wrote quite a long, long post about my experiences with the hospital system from my kidney donation. So I had a pretty good idea of what we were in for. I will say it wasn't quite as bad as that one. Presbyterian Hospital and Healthcare System in Albuquerque is a far better organization than Hartford Hospital in Hartford Connecticut was back in 2008.

(I am sure once Wife gets her energy back will write her own post about the experience.)

Let's go Through the Looking Glass

The Urgent Care/Emergency Room facility is a huge standalone not part of a hospital. Despite its size, it has a tiny waiting room. I was actually familiar with the facility as I had been there in March of last year. So I had some idea of what to expect. 

Enter the facility. Go to registration. In our case, our doctor had already sent in the preliminary diagnosis with the tests being requested.

Look around the tiny waiting room with coughing people and the screaming child.

Find the only place to sit which faces the large windows that have the setting sun glaring right in your face.

Watch one of the people at the reception desk go lower shades so 'She' doesn't have the sun in her eyes. The patients? Not her problem.

After a long wait, Wife is called in for 'Triage' to get a handle on what the issue is. Back into the waiting room with the coughing and screaming child.

Another long wait.

Wife is called in for two of the three tests she needs. 

Back into the waiting room with the coughing people and screaming child.

Another long wait.

Wife is called back for the last of the tests, a CT scan. They tell her she should now be given a room in the facility but the rooms are all full. So go back to the waiting room with the coughing people and the screaming child.

We are two hours into our visit. 

Finally, Wife is given a room. We are really lucky. During our night at the facility, we will see many people who are in their hospital beds in the hallway. 

About three hours into our stay, a doctor comes in and tells Wife her clot goes all the way from her elbow through her chest and is approaching her heart.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😳

We are both in full on fear mode.

We are told she will be put on an anticoagulant medicine that is delivered by drip. This means she will need to be in the hospital for a few days until they are convinced the clot is under control and starting to dissolve. They will transfer Wife to the main hospital via an ambulance as they have to maintain the drip going. 

One problem. There are no beds available at the hospital. We will have to wait in the UC/ER facility until a room is available. The technician who has been hooking Wife up to her drip, tells me in no uncertain terms, I need to stay with Wife until they get her to the hospital because, "Who knows what will happen! You need to be available." I am not looking forward to spending the night in the ice cold meat locker in a small, hard chair. 

Fortunately for me they have these recliner type chairs for just such a situation. They bring one in, It almost goes completely flat. It's like a poor quality business class airline seat. As I'm used to those, I manage to get some sleep, Wife, of course, is going through much worse. They are continuing to poke and draw blood, doing EKG's meaning she's got those patches all over her chest. 

So we honker down for the night. I actually get some sleep. But I'm up at around 4:30am. I am thinking, "My experience was hospital discharges are usually done in the morning after the attending physicians see their patients and give the okay. So it might be late morning or midday before they move Wife. I'm still wearing my business clothes. I go to the nurse attending us and ask if it would be okay for me to go home and get a shower and return as it most likely will be many hours before Wife can get a room. She tells me they now do admissions and discharges on a continuous basis. Wife could get a room at any time. But she doesn't know why I've even waited all night. Her attitude is completely different from the guy you set Wife up on the drip. 

We decide I should go home, shower and get something to eat. I do this as quickly as possible. Before I leave, I check with the facility. She is now at the hospital. I pack up some things like my computer, chargers, Kindle, and head to the hospital

End Part One

Acceptance On The Home Front

In my end of trip, 'navel gazing' post, I wrote about the power of Acceptance as a critical component of the trip's success. I also alluded to bringing that attitude to our life here in Albuquerque. 

Regular readers know Wife and I have struggled mightily with our life at home. Do we keep the house? Do we move? Where? What do we want? If we can't get what we want, what do we do? And more of the like. This has led to a round of frustration for almost two years. The circular logic went like this...

• We didn't want to take care of the big house and yard any longer
• We wanted the high-rise, apartment, live in city where you could walk everywhere lifestyle (see our loving of El Campello)
• But I need to keep working some to pay for our travel
• If I need to keep working, we have to stay in Albuquerque because that is where my network and reputation are. Not going to go somewhere else at this late date and put in all the work to build a new network and reputation).
• Can we find the high-rise, walking lifestyle in Albuquerque? No!
• So we have to stay in the house

Hence we set out to get the house fixed up so we can stay here long-term. But that became its own 'Groundhog's Day' of trying to achieve a perfect outcome.

Coming back from our trip, with our new acceptance attitude, we have focused on 'What is reasonable and can actually get done'. With that mind shift, suddenly an number of logjams have broken. We are hoping in a few weeks to have some commitments for getting the work scheduled and done. 

In the meantime, I have been immersed at getting my business practice up to an acceptable level. It hasn't been that hard. I know what I'm doing. I know how to connect people. I do good work. And the fact that my women in Ghana have stepped up and been able to take responsibility for the day-to-day of their business means I don't need to be up at early hours doing that work so I have better work/life balance.

How's this for the 'Acceptance' contemplation?

I get to travel the world in style. I spend months enjoying the pleasures of other cultures and leading a completely different lifestyle than I did in my 'work-a-day' career days. I live in a lovely house that many would die to have. I get to use my experience and mind to help others to achieve their personal dreams AND I get paid to do it. I have been given the opportunity to change the trajectory of women's lives in a part of the world where hope is a scarce commodity. And that has given me yet another experience of another completely different culture. And I am doing all this at an age when the vast majority of my peers are checking out on life.

I think I can ACCEPT this.