A Very 2.3 Thanksgiving

It started with a call from Indonesia.

"Dad. 2.3 is in the U.S. with nowhere to go for Thanksgiving. Can he visit you and Mom?"

"Um...Sure."

Hence for the first time in longer than I can remember (which in my late 70's is about 30 minutes), we were committed to having family for Thanksgiving. 

There were intense conversations prior to the holiday on what our Grandson might want.

de-I - "So 2.3, what might you like to do while you are here?"

2.3 - "I'm fine with anything."

de-I - "Um thanks for the guidance."

We did determine that 2.3 was quite set upon having a traditional Thanksgiving dinner (so much for the idea of having lasagna). With one exception, he didn't want Turkey. Which was fine with us as we are somewhat ambivalent about Turkey ourselves (the bird, not the country. We love Turkey, the country.)

2.3 didn't arrive from Cincinnati until around midnight on Wednesday. That meant I did the majority of the food prep. He is actually a big help normally and I adjusted the schedule so there were some things for him to do. Well, in reality, I was still really getting tired very quickly so was glad to adjust things so I didn't kill myself. 

The Thanksgiving dinner itself was not one my tour de force. A lot of things didn't turn out. We had Chicken as the primary meat. I used a recipe I've done for decades but not any time recently. Instead of just following the recipe, I put in a food thermometer. It showed it being done a hour earlier than I would have thought. So I panicked and took it out of the oven. Mistake. It wasn't close to being cooked. This caused all kinds of schedule adjustments. Then there were many other missteps as well. 

But despite the Thanksgiving dinner, it was lovely having 2.3 here. He is a very intelligent, articulate, and self-aware person, We had many long conversations on a wide range of subjects. 

Graphic demonstration of just how far one has deteriorated from age. 

Wife wanted to put up the Christmas tree. It and the boxes of ornaments was buried deep in our storage closet. I was looking at what it was going to take to get it out and thinking, "This is going to take at least an hour with me having to move many heavy things before I even got to the tree and accessories. 

2.3 (a strapping young man)  takes one look and declares, "No problem Grandma." He proceeds to step over and around all that is in the way, lift the box over his head and carries it to the living room in minutes. He does the same for the accessory boxes. In no time at all he has the tree out of the box, set up, has helped Wife put on all the extra lights, and has completed the task. I think it might have taken 30 minutes. 

The Thanksgiving Dinner Self-Critcism Committee Meeting

 2.3 announced that as he was going to be in Cincinnati for three more years and we were, most likely, the only relatives he had in the United States, we could expect him for at least a couple more. Hence it was important that we evaluate every aspect of the Thanksgiving dinner to ensure that we move it in the direction of perfection. Among the decisions were:

• Trust the Chicken Recipe. Do not Deviate
• More moisture in the Dressing
• NO MUSHROOMS in the Dressing (formal objection made by de-I on this decision)
• Less fat in the Gravy
• Sweet Potatoes must not resemble potatoes but must be some concoction with tons of sugar and marshmallows (Fine 2.3, they are all yours to make and eat next year)
• Actually cook and serve the frozen peas instead of bemoaning that you forgot them
•  Put Vanilla again in the Chocolate Pudding Pie again and risk being deported

In fact, I was so upset about the Vanilla in the Chocolate Pudding (damn it I was just following a recipe), that I made a second batch a couple of days later to make amends.  

In all seriousness, it was great having 2.3 here. Any chance we get to see our far flung grandchildren and have serious quality time with  them is a blessing.  

Better And Better

I am happy to report that last week sometime, I finally seemed to kick the vast majority of the serious asthma reactions. It was a tough three week battle that had left me physically and mentally drained. I have finally started to do some exercise again and now that I can breath, I find I have not lost as much conditioning as I might have thought. 

Of course, I immediately offset the return to relative health by a week of crazy scheduling (not all my own doing by the way) along with extra care required for Wife since her hand surgery, that left me exhausted most of the week. 

But just being able to breath has been a real blessing. And I find that my mental attitude toward the whole 'what do I want to do with work vs travel' is better as well.  

The Quantum Physics Of Transition Continue With No End In Sight

I have written so many posts about my 'Transitioned State' since 'officially' ending working full-time that it feels like I am a film studio milking some franchise for every last penny (Oops...no more pennies) every last nickel of profit no matter how old and repetitive the material gets. 

An ongoing theme has been how much do I want to be doing the work I used to do versus doing something else. Well the something else has been travel. But the cost of travel limited how much of it could be done and required that some work be included to pay for it. So going over my Transition  tagged posts, there is this constant yo-yo between saying I don't want to work, to getting reinvigorated by work, to not wanting to work, and back and forth. 

Looking at my early 2024 posts, I claimed to have recognized that this yo-yo was just the steady state and I would accept it. 

That seemed to be fine until the return from this latest trip. 

This time the desire to get back into the work swing of things has been way, way harder than previously. My getting sick right after getting back and only just now, almost 3 weeks later, starting to feel normal again has been a significant part of it . So there certainly has been a lack of energy from that. 

But there seems to be other factors at play. 

To be sure of my memory, (which at my current age seems to be completely inaccurate), I went back over transition posts I've made over the last couple of years. Talk about memory lapse! Go back to the first part of this year and I am absolutely oozing with excitement over various business things I was doing. I'm talking about new opportunities, and revival of old ones. So what the heck has happened over the last 7/8 months?

Well, I'd say when the year started, we were not sure at all that we'd be able to traveling. The blood clot thing, our short trip to Sweden that went bad with breaking Wife's foot. I think in the absence of travel, there was a feeling 'well I may as well get more active with work."

Next, there had been an interest from someone close to me about taking over my practice. We had a lot of conversations. If someone was going to take it over, there needed to be an actual practice to take over. 

Third, we were in the middle of the remodel that was sucking up a lot of cash. Plenty of incentive to keep working there. 

So what has changed since we came back?

First, we did travel! And it was as good as it ever was, and now, with time staring at us, the desire to travel is even greater.

Second, being gone for almost two months, I find all those business things I was excited about, they are pretty much dead in the water. Not that they couldn't be revived. But you can't just disappear for months at a time and have initiatives keep moving. It takes ongoing effort. So if I go put in that effort now, what's going to happen. In 3 months I will be leaving again for two months and it will all relapse. So why put in the effort in the first place?

Third, we are finding since the way we travel has changed with age, we can travel spending much less money. This means there is a lot less pressure to need to work. 

But, offsetting these things are others such as:

I tend to need something to do with purpose in my life, hence why I have always taught, coached, mentored, etc. 

Then there is the need for a certain amount of meaningful inter-personal connection. That has almost exclusively come from work over the decades. 

Finally, there are recent events associated with Theodora and Rotary Club to End Human Trafficking that are putting that into a whole new light. (Will do a separate post on those). Would that fill the 'purpose' need? 

Now add to the mix that Wife had elective surgery to repair arthritic damage to her thumb and doesn't have use of her right hand for a few weeks. That means a lot of time and energy to assist her. 

Factor all this in and you have a recipe for much introspection and not a lot of clarity. 

(To Be Continued) 

 

Eldership 2025 Spain - Conclusion And Evaluation

I adopted this custom of 'navel-gazing' post voyage reflection from #3 who back in the day before career and family threw the weight of middle class life on her, would make such reflection posts a conclusion to her travel experiences. I thought it was a great idea and borrowed it. So let's dig in.

Travel Is Still Great...I Mean Really Great

This was the first 'real' trip this year. Our visit to Sweden in the Spring was thrown together at the last minute as we were dealing with Wife's recovery from her blood clot. Then I went and broke her foot! 😩  This trip started slowly. We were gingerly seeing what Wife could do without hurting her foot. Plus she was dealing with the accumulated weakness that comes from not having done exercise for a long period. 

But by the time we got settled in El Campello, things started to change. From that point, it was like being back with a long-lost friend. When it was time to come home, I was definitely melancholy about going back regular life. 

High Point of the Trip? Wife Bouncing Back

As I alluded to above, the major theme of this trip was of Wife's being able to return to herself. We started the trip with her needing wheelchair service on all our flights to get to Spain. In our first stop, Bilbao, she was extremely circumspect on what she did. But once we got to El Campello, she now had the ability to take long walks on a perfectly flat waterfront walkway. She added doing core body exercises. She got stronger and stronger.

We did more day trips. This led to her joy for photography bursting anew. By the end of the trip, we were doing walking up hill as we had done before all the medical issues. 

El Campello, The One, At Least for Now

I mentioned in my first post upon returning to El Campello my concern that it would not live up to our last visit memory. But it has been every bit as good. I have written about all the various ways from the city itself, to the apartment that this situation suits us. As I also wrote, we were so confirmed that this is the place for us that we booked it again for 2026. It is such a new and different experience for us to have a place where we enjoy just being and want to come back to again. 

It took a LOT of searching to find it. We're still looking for other places, in other parts of the world where we can  

So, If You Are Going Back to the Same Place, Are You Still That 'Traveler' You So Arrogantly Wrote About In Your Last Post?

Well no, of course not. Call us 'retired' travelers. Yes RMG, we are now traveling to go somewhere specific. But we are still getting out and exploring our area in all kinds of ways from doing day trips, to digging into the background of the Moors and Christians Festival so trying to bring our traveler spirit to being in a single locale. Maybe think about it as exploring deep rather than broad.

Spain And Gastronomy 

This trip was not anything to write about in terms of gastronomy hence why you saw so few posts. Part of this was due to our frequently being in 'tourist' situations when we were looking to ate out and getting 'tourist' mediocrity. But some of it is than a lot of Spanish restaurant cooking (at least at the level we are willing to pay) is fairly bland. Our discoveries of local places and enjoying menu del dia is still a high point. But the best part, gastronomically, of being in Spain, is the overall high quality of food you buy to cook yourself. Meat, Veg, Bread, Cheese, Condiments, Flavorings, almost everything I've bought to cook with has been great. Combined with the great kitchen we have and my love of cooking, it was far more enjoyable to make our own meals.  

Is It Worth Saving Money If You Get Sick?

I suppose the simple answer is no one is going to opt willingly to get sick. But the real question is can I get the kind of savings I enjoyed on this trip and get routing that does not kill Wife and I. I think the answer is going to be yes. But we will find out with the 2026 version of the trip. I think we will because we have way more time to shop for our next year's airfare. 

This year, I was booking the flight to Europe at the last minute due to the medical uncertainty of our being able travel. So I grabbed the deal despite knowing the returning flights were far from ideal. With more time for next year, I am counting on being able to patient and find the kinds of deals that will save as much without the bad flight connection component.

And this is important. When we looked at the total cost of this trip, it was only $1,500 more than our trip to Sweden. Except this trip was almost 7 weeks long compared to 3 weeks for Sweden. The bulk of that differential was the airfare. And here is why that is important. If I can get our cost for 7 weeks of travel to be the same as this year, we can afford to do our two trips a year without any money from my working! That would mean I would be able to completely retire.  

What Does The Future Hold? 

That is a huge question because of our age and health. I think Wife and I are pretty honest with ourselves that we may not have many trips left. So for the moment we are going to focus on the the two we have planned for 2026 and take trip by trip from there.

More Ruminations On Travel - What Is Realistic And What Is Not

After getting responses both as blog comments and via other means related to the strains of our return flight despite all of our planning, I reflected. 

I reflected on all the detail and tradeoffs I'd discussed previously related to travel planning. Was I making light of the issues one would encounter. Then I did deeper reflection. I went into what does it meant to 'travel' and to be 'a traveler'. And here is what I have concluded. 

There is a deep seeded need in some people to travel. Whether you were Herodotus in ancient Greece, Ibn Battuta in medieval Islam, or Henry Swinburne in 18th century Europe, there has been a desire to go out and see, experience, learn. 

Travel by its very nature of taking one out of a settled, predictable life pattern, will put one into situations where is uncomfortable. Travel (as I have written earlier) is not 'taking a vacation'. It is not going to a place where one can relax and let their worries go. It is about seeking new experiences, or delving deeper into places one has already seen.

If one wants to 'look like one is traveling' but have all the uncertainty taken out, you have your cruise or tour. You will definitely see things. But they will be the curated things that cruise or tour organizer has arranged for you. They will be homogenized, safe, and require little effort or discomfort on your part. To me, personally, this is not travel. 

When you travel, you know you are going to have your good days and your bad days. Not everything you plan will pan out. You may run into a temple celebration you totally knew nothing about. Even your negatives may have a positive such as my getting stuck in the mud and all the Spaniards working to get me out! And you will have a voyage where things don't go quite as planned and you get tired and sick. 

I realize all this is subjective and there are many levels and nuances. One might say if you are not trekking, traveling with minimal creature comforts you are not really traveling. They would look at what Wife and I do with skepticism and I accept that. 

But I do accept that the possibility of things not going smoothly is a part of the true travel experience just as travelers have done for centuries and centuries. 

We Interrupt These Posts for Illness

As so very frequently happens to me with international travel, if I get mega tired, there is a very high chance I will get sick. And sure enough, here I am. Sick. It appears it is just a virus and I seem to be coming back reasonably fast. But this may delay the production of the end of trip reflections and analysis. 

On better health news, Wife went to the foot doctor, who said she could resume normal activities. It is not 100% healed but there is not enough residual damage to warrant other measures. Good news for Wife.

A reply to a comment left by RMG. She posited that an overnight stop on a long trip would be beneficial, deducing from our recent experience that it was not. I would respond that it depends. If you can get good quality sleep during the overnight stop, then definitely it will prove to be beneficial. I've had many a trip where my overnight stops have proved beneficial. However, if you don't get good sleep on that layover, then you have just added a bunch more travel time and fatigue.  

Eldership 2025 Spain - Campello Farewell

I know I have the time sequence a bit off since I just posted about our schlepp back home. We are safely ensconced in Albuquerque, enjoying our own beds, showers, kitchens, etc. But as I said, it was a bit melancholy leaving Campello this year. It is building this special place in our life. 

On our last morning, we had one of those incredible sunrises that can make the start of a day an emotional joy. We didn't have as many this year as last year. So, despite my proclamations to the contrary, I decided to do one more sunrise photo shoot as my goodbye to Campello for 2025.

Post-Trip Navel Gazing Post in the works.